I was golfing with a friend as he teed his ball on the first hole. He He hit a long slice deep into the thick woods. I said that he should a mulligan, but he said that we could easily find his ball. We began to search and in just a few minutes heard a beeping and then noticed the ball blinking red in thick weeds. On the next hole he again sliced the ball even deeper into the thicker bushy, marshy area. I again asked if he would like to take a mulligan and he said that we will easily find his ball. Again as we entered this area we heard a loud beeping, followed the beeping to a blinking ball in the marsh. I said "that is unbelievable where did you get that ball?" He replied " I found it"

A priests regular caddy was unavailable, so he asked a nun to caddy for him. On the 3rd hole he misses a 3 foot putt and exclaimes 'God dammit, I missed'. The nun cries out 'Father, you can't use the Lords name in vain'. The priest apologizes. Later on the 12th hold he misses a 2 foot putt and once again exclaimes 'God dammit, I missed'. The nun once again scolded him, and he apologizes again, and says 'if I should use the Lords name in vain again, a bolt of lightning should come from the heavens and strike me dead on the spot'. All goes well until the 18th hole when he misses from only 1 foot from the cup. He shouts out again, 'God dammit I missed'. Suddenly the skies darken, clouds begin swirling and the nun and priest stare at each other with looks of consternation. Suddenly a bolt of lightning comes from the heavens and kills the nun instantly. Then a booming voice is heard from high above 'God dammit, I missed'.

A 4 some is on the 9th green near the main road. A funeral procession passes and 1 of the golfers takes off his hat and bows his head. The other 3 golfers are touched by this and asked why he would bow his head to the funeral procession. The golfer says it the least he can do because its his wife's funeral!

A golfer is obsessed with the hereafter and goes to a medium to find out if there is golf in heaven, is there golf after death. The medium gazes into her crystal ball and tells the golfer that she has good news and bad news. The golfer says tell me the good news 1st. The medium says there is indeed golf in heaven and its a beautiful course! The skies are always sunny, the temperature is 72 year around and that the slight breeze is always at his back. The golfer smiling says whats the bad news and the medium tells him that he tees off Monday morning at 9am!