Some Groaners
Apr 17, 2018 12:47:20 #
Nineteen Newfoundlanders go to the cinema.
The ticket lady asks, "Why so many of you?"
Buddy replies, "The film said 18 or over."
~~~~~~~~~~
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop, and they were $70. Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
~~~~~~~~~~
I was at an A.T.M. yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could
check her balance, so I pushed her over.
~~~~~~~~~~
Statistically, six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy.
~~~~~~~~~~
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 AM.
Can you believe that! 2:30 AM?
Luckily for him, I was still up playing my bagpipes.
~~~~~~~~~~
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said "You're obviously not listening."
~~~~~~~~~~
The wife was counting all the nickels and dimes out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
~~~~~~~~~~
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.
~~~~~~~~~~
An East Indian fellow has moved in next door.
He has travelled the world, has swum with sharks, has wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain.
It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat!
The ticket lady asks, "Why so many of you?"
Buddy replies, "The film said 18 or over."
~~~~~~~~~~
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop, and they were $70. Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
~~~~~~~~~~
I was at an A.T.M. yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could
check her balance, so I pushed her over.
~~~~~~~~~~
Statistically, six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy.
~~~~~~~~~~
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 AM.
Can you believe that! 2:30 AM?
Luckily for him, I was still up playing my bagpipes.
~~~~~~~~~~
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said "You're obviously not listening."
~~~~~~~~~~
The wife was counting all the nickels and dimes out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."
~~~~~~~~~~
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.
~~~~~~~~~~
An East Indian fellow has moved in next door.
He has travelled the world, has swum with sharks, has wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain.
It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat!
Apr 17, 2018 12:51:54 #
Apr 17, 2018 13:04:32 #
Loved them all!!! Put a big smile on my face and really made my day. Thanks sooo much for posting.
Apr 18, 2018 05:43:21 #
Apr 18, 2018 08:04:23 #
Apr 18, 2018 09:31:38 #
Apr 18, 2018 10:09:08 #
Apr 18, 2018 10:17:00 #
Apr 18, 2018 10:38:47 #
I popped out my hernia laughing! Your jokes are hazardous to my health-
Apr 18, 2018 11:02:55 #
Apr 18, 2018 11:48:41 #
Apr 20, 2018 14:27:29 #
Apr 23, 2018 19:22:58 #
Apr 24, 2018 08:54:34 #
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