The Three Umpires
Feb 5, 2018 20:40:49 #
Three umpires were at the pub reminiscing about their careers. They got to discussing their general philosophy of how to call the pitches.
The first umpire says, "Well, I calls 'em as I sees 'em"
The second umpire shakes his head and says, "I calls 'em as they IS!"
The third umpire--not to be outdone-- shakes his head and says, "They IS as I calls 'em!"
The first umpire says, "Well, I calls 'em as I sees 'em"
The second umpire shakes his head and says, "I calls 'em as they IS!"
The third umpire--not to be outdone-- shakes his head and says, "They IS as I calls 'em!"
Feb 5, 2018 20:50:51 #
Quaking Aspen wrote:
Three umpires were at the pub reminiscing about their careers. They got to discussing their general philosophy of how to call the pitches.
The first umpire says, "Well, I calls 'em as I sees 'em"
The second umpire shakes his head and says, "I calls 'em as they IS!"
The third umpire--not to be outdone-- shakes his head and says, "They IS as I calls 'em!"
The first umpire says, "Well, I calls 'em as I sees 'em"
The second umpire shakes his head and says, "I calls 'em as they IS!"
The third umpire--not to be outdone-- shakes his head and says, "They IS as I calls 'em!"
Feb 5, 2018 20:58:02 #
Just waiting for spring training games to start. A buddy was a pro ump and his tales over beers are hilarious. Thanks for that.
Feb 5, 2018 21:26:21 #
pesfls wrote:
Just waiting for spring training games to start. A buddy was a pro ump and his tales over beers are hilarious. Thanks for that.
You're welcome. It's an oldie that I heard years ago.
Feb 5, 2018 21:31:04 #
Quaking Aspen wrote:
You're welcome. It's an oldie that I heard years ago.
He was definitely that way. If he said it, it stuck. Period. Laugh a minute. Love the game.
Feb 5, 2018 21:49:40 #
Feb 6, 2018 04:48:56 #
bellgamin
Loc: Ewa Beach, Hawaii
I umpired Senior Little League and High School games for 3 years. Never heard a joke like the one here. All the jokes I heard had to do with my need for glasses and that I should put sun tan lotion on my behind.
They joshed me that way because, at a game I was calling behind the plate one Saturday, the seat of my pants tore. No underwear -- I was just wearing a jock strap -- so all the folks behind the backstop got a glimpse of my lily white gluteus. The story was in the next morning's newspaper. That picture still shows up every now & then even though the incident happened over 20 years ago. Wish I had a copy to show you. They gave me a couple but my wife shredded them long long ago.
They joshed me that way because, at a game I was calling behind the plate one Saturday, the seat of my pants tore. No underwear -- I was just wearing a jock strap -- so all the folks behind the backstop got a glimpse of my lily white gluteus. The story was in the next morning's newspaper. That picture still shows up every now & then even though the incident happened over 20 years ago. Wish I had a copy to show you. They gave me a couple but my wife shredded them long long ago.
Feb 6, 2018 08:19:11 #
bellgamin wrote:
I umpired Senior Little League and High School gam... (show quote)
Well the internet is forever!
Feb 6, 2018 08:36:25 #
I remember almost being thrown out of a spring training game by the home plate umpire. He apparently fell along the lines of the third umpire. I didn't hesitate to let me know, either. In the third inning I expressed that he could do a bit better if he'd punch some holes in his mask so he could see the game. The interesting issue was I was in the stands front row right behind home plate.
Having been paid to play for three seasons a few years earlier, gave me a considerable amount of comments to make to umpires. Most of which, if said on the field, would result in immediate ejection.
--Bob
Having been paid to play for three seasons a few years earlier, gave me a considerable amount of comments to make to umpires. Most of which, if said on the field, would result in immediate ejection.
--Bob
Feb 6, 2018 09:53:06 #
pesfls wrote:
Just waiting for spring training games to start. A buddy was a pro ump and his tales over beers are hilarious. Thanks for that.
Excellent joke, and the third ump has it right for sure.
I can't wait for spring training either, spending the month of March in Florida, have tickets for four games so far and yes all Blue Jay games but four different parks.
Feb 8, 2018 11:38:04 #
Tikva
Loc: Waukesha, WI
Excellent. Sounds like the third ump is closest. Of course with instant replay, things have changed a little.
Feb 8, 2018 13:27:38 #
Feb 9, 2018 15:00:16 #
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