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Sometimes I feel this way.
Nov 18, 2016 08:50:19 #
A few laughs
I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
Money talks… but all mine ever says is good-bye.
You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
Money talks… but all mine ever says is good-bye.
You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Nov 18, 2016 08:57:19 #
First post reading of the day for me. Well worth the time! Great advise!
Nov 18, 2016 09:05:28 #
Thanks Leo, not only are those funny observations, but there is some wisdom in a few of those quotes.
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Nov 18, 2016 09:07:17 #
Nov 18, 2016 09:08:26 #
Nov 18, 2016 09:33:41 #
Nov 18, 2016 09:46:54 #
Nov 18, 2016 17:47:37 #
Nov 19, 2016 01:57:54 #
Nov 19, 2016 05:53:02 #
I shot a deer while out hunting with my two polish buddies. we then each grabbed a hind leg and dragged it back to the truck.
Nov 19, 2016 07:50:02 #
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Nov 19, 2016 08:01:52 #
1Feathercrest
Loc: NEPA
To "advise" is to give someone "advice". (Telling information that is useful is great advice.)
Nov 19, 2016 08:15:46 #
Nov 19, 2016 08:32:12 #
Nov 19, 2016 08:45:26 #
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