SteveR Loc: Michigan

Okay, so this is something of a personal gripe. Maybe some of you have run into the same thing. Nearly four years ago we leased a car for my son to drive while he was in school. He took over the payments once he graduated and got a job. Now that the lease was expiring he wanted to purchase the car. I had to go into the dealership with him since it was in our name. He has a fairly tight budget, and has racked up some credit card debt, so we decided to pay $5000 of the purchase price to bring down his monthly payment. Now he did say "thanks" but that was about it. And, he is a close to the vest type of person. However, it would have been nice if he'd told both of us that he really appreciated the help. After all, he is 31. After that he went back to being his old grumpy self. I could just as easily have taken that $5000 and put it towards a 400mm or 500mm prime lens. But....y'all know how it is. We always help our kids as much as we can. Maybe I'm expecting too much, but it seems like we're being taken for granted, and that the kids feel like money just grows on trees.

blacks2 Loc: SF. Bay area

Steve, that's about my story too, it's sad, only with me it's my grandson.

RobertW Loc: Breezy Point, New York

Wow----What a surprise!!

2Dragons Loc: The Back of Beyond

Don't feel like the Lone Ranger. I've got one just like him, and so do a number of my friends. No matter what you do for them, they still are ungrateful. Not that you are looking for
kowtowing and groveling, but being treated with respect would be a good start. One friend has decided that in her next life she is NOT going to have kids, but has decided to raise chickens
instead. That way if any of them piss her off she can just have it for dinner.

My father lent us $16,000 for our mortgage back in 1970. We paid him 5.5% and never missed a payment in 20 years. We would have eaten Corn Flakes before EVER missing one payment, and we were forever grateful that he had the money and the faith in us to loan us the money that the bank wouldn't. We had 20% to put down, but no credit. Not bad credit, just no credit because we'd never bought anything on time and at that time only rich folks had credit cards, and we'd been brought up to pay cash for whatever you bought, and if you didn't have the cash, you didn't need it that bad. You have to remember that the kids today have been educated by a school system that leans heavily towards socialism, so their attitude is, share the wealth. Doesn't matter that maybe YOU might need it for retirement or to pay your bills,...........if you've got it, they want it.

Adicus Loc: New Zealand

What was he doing going to school at 27 ? and at that age why did you have to lease a car for him? By the time I was 27 I had finished all my schooling plus technical, qualified in my trade, married and become a father, emigrated to another country and set up my own business and was getting on with my mortgaged life. Maybe its different in The USA and a different time as I am talking about the late sixties.

Mustanger Loc: Grants Pass, Oregon USA

Same here with my eldest....I wrote off his loan & cut him off never again! After 8 years of no payments....he will be in the streets if that is what it takes...he is 43

Huey Driver Loc: Texas

Just one of the reasons I am glad I never had kids.

SteveR Loc: Michigan

Now that I got my gripe off my chest, I've gotta share the other side. We are thankful that our son is just alive. He's had three heart surgeries due to a minor heart defect. At 12 he got endocarditis (an infection around the aortic valve) and a piece of the infection went up to his head. They operated to scrape the infection out so it wouldn't happen again. This was his second surgery. At 25 we were fortunate to find that his ascending aorta was enlarged. He had surgery to replace his aortic valve and ascending aorta. It was even more enlarged than thought, and fortunately he didn't have an aneurysm. After playing around for a couple of years in college, he went to work and got an apartment and learned that he couldn't make ends meet. That's when he got serious about education. I will say that he worked very hard in school to get where he is today. Last year he tried to do an MRI program which required 28 hours during the week while working 40 hours at night M-F. He got within 3 weeks of the end of the second semester before he eclipsed the acceptable number of tardies. It was just a difficult schedule, but it was a shame that he didn't take a leave of absence from work. So....there is always the good and the bad with kids. Either way, when their yours you've gotta love 'em.

ggttc Loc: TN

My son was buying a new TV and asked if we wanted to buy his old one for $600. (its a really nice TV, but too big for the apartment they were going to rent)...so my wife said " sure we'll pay you...and then you can pay for your degree that I bought you."

Got free installation and everything...lol

RS Loc: W Columbia, SC

Oh yeah, we got us one of those situations, too.
(I started to go into what turned out to be a too-detailed explanation;
but I erased it, as it got too long and was digging into my conscience.)
It seems that's what much of today's generations have become, and
it's scary to think about where this nation/world is going! But, never
mind, I'll study it on my IPhone - if and when I ever get one . . .

sarge69 Loc: Ft Myers, FL

Our youngest went to Utah for a job and then decided to go to college. For his work there, he got instate tuition. We paid for it and it was five years. Now he graduated (no thought of getting the tuition back) and then he asked us to help him get a car. We had bought him a car to get to Utah in the first place. So we said we'd help with a $5,000.00 loan so he could get financing. All we have to do now is find out who much he can pay a month and we might start getting paid back.

Our daughter, 2 years older went to college with very little help the 1st year, graduated as a Microbioligist (sp) and within the company went from a scientist into management and hasn't asked for anything.

Wish I had made 2 girls.

Sarge

Huey Driver Loc: Texas

SteveR Loc: Michigan

That's a long story. Some of it is not his fault. However, he is one of those kids who finally got it together and turned his life around. I'll say that for him. When he was 25 he was trying to get into a program as an echocardiogram tech. During the holidays he ended up having surgery to replace his aortic valve and ascending aorta and still got back in time for school. Selections were made 50% based upon interview, and for two years all females were selected by a panel of women. One of the girls selected was an individual that Evan tutored. So, he switched and became a radiology tech. Again, excellent grades. We put the car in our name because, although he was working part-time, his credit score was not good enough. He took over payments once he graduated and got a job. This past year he tried doing an MRI program which required 20 hours of clinicals during the week and one 8 hour class day while he was working 10:30 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. in the hospital. I told him those were crazy hours and he accumulated too many tardies just 3 weeks before the second and last semester was just about over. Physically it had become an impossibility but he gave it everything he had. So....sometimes people's lives work out differently and not as perfectly as yours. Thank goodness, however, when they do work out. My wife had a friend who had a son who was 43, alcoholic, coudn't keep a job and depended on her to stay alive. We should all be thankful that we're not in that situation. So....all in all, maybe a little ingratitude is the least of my worries.

tramsey Loc: Texas

And here I thought I was the only one with this problem. My oldest son, 50, a few years back, wanted me to co sign with him for a car. I agreed and told him if he can't pay I would help but he would have to pay me back, anything a month even $5.00. I ended up paying for the car. He now has two Harleys, a new pick up and just bought a hunting rifle; is it a Remington or Winchester? Not hardly it's a custom made Wheatherby. I don't have to tell you how much of that co sign payment I've received. The last time he called, I had been thinking about this and got all pissed off again. I interrupted whatever he was talking about and told him I didn't want to hear from him until he started making the payments that he had promised. That was over a year ago and still there is silence.
I have one older daughter and a younger son, both went to college on their own, both have houses that are very nicely furnished and a couple of cars. They asked for nothing and want to help me. They won't have anything to do with their brother.

Sure feels good not to be in this boat alone.

Woodsman Loc: North of Peterborough Ontario

I think its a generational mind set. When I built a new home on some cottage property back in the 80's I was single and my dad helped me out. He did not have to and offered and I accepted and never missed a payment. I ended up paying off the debt early and always told him how much I appreciated his help.

A few years ago my stepdaughter was going through a divorce (she would be about 40 at the time). My wife came to me and asked if we could help her out with her lawyers fees, she was struggling. My wife said it would be a short term loan. We helped her out and after a few months we have not heard from her again. Its now been 10 years. I think my wife is more shocked than I was. She never expected her daughter to act like that.