a little light humour.
Jun 22, 2016 17:36:43 #
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered
several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10
each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had serious doubts
about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech mpediment.
Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the
results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand..."You are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, 'I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected.'
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for
the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged.. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-thisB-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"
several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10
each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had serious doubts
about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech mpediment.
Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the
results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand..."You are indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, 'I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected.'
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for
the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded.
"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged.. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-thisB-B-B-B-Bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"
Jun 22, 2016 17:51:30 #
Jun 23, 2016 06:13:20 #
Jun 23, 2016 06:56:59 #
Jun 23, 2016 08:38:54 #
Jun 23, 2016 08:45:11 #
CA_CanonUser
Loc: Friendswood, TX
An oldie but goodie. I heard a version of this one probably 40 years ago. Good jokes have staying power!
Jun 23, 2016 08:59:09 #
Jun 23, 2016 18:37:31 #
Jun 23, 2016 18:37:46 #
mullumby wrote:
a little light humour.
Three guys with flashlights walked into a bar...
Jun 23, 2016 21:35:59 #
I was in a sells seminar some years back and was told about an insurance salesman that stuttered but had risen to the top sales person in his firm. One day someone asked him how he was able to accomplish that with his speech difficulty of stuttering. He told the asker, well, I,I,I justtt show the proproprospect the prodddduct , and th,th,then set the ssssales aaaagreement on the cofffeee taaable with a p p ppen and ask the cccccliant if they wwwwwould please ssssingn, or,or,or would thththey like mmmme, to expppplain it to thththem aaaaagain. A great story either way!
Jun 23, 2016 22:03:42 #
RS
Loc: W Columbia, SC
CA_CanonUser wrote:
An oldie but goodie. I heard a version of this one probably 40 years ago. Good jokes have staying power!
I, too, heard that one a good number of years ago,
and I agree about the 'staying power' of a lot of jokes;
that being, they tend to bring back 'memory smiles',
and we know a lot of friends/relatives to pass them along to.
Thanks . . .
Jun 23, 2016 22:58:05 #
Jun 24, 2016 12:23:54 #
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