In the courtroom
Apr 23, 2016 09:17:12 #
The Attorney called ...his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you.
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you.
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
Apr 23, 2016 09:26:39 #
Apr 23, 2016 10:03:08 #
Wenonah wrote:
The Attorney called ...his first witness, a grandm... (show quote)
I'm still laughing that's very funny . Thanks for posting.
Apr 24, 2016 06:40:28 #
Apr 24, 2016 11:24:45 #
Apr 24, 2016 12:12:00 #
PRETENDER wrote:
If you don't want to know don't ask. :oops:
A re-phrasing of my personal Rule #6, to wit:
If you can't live with the answer don't ask the question.
A corollary to this, specifically for children growing up, "No is an answer."
Apr 24, 2016 12:17:03 #
Apr 24, 2016 12:38:52 #
Apr 24, 2016 19:32:46 #
Apr 25, 2016 19:07:32 #
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.