There's Nothing But Yellow Stripes And Dead Armadillos In The Middle Of The Road
Jan 20, 2016 21:56:31 #
You won't believe this! I have been reading a hilarious book today, and it was actually written by a Democrat! I kid you not! Does anyone remember Jim Hightower? I vaguely remember when I used to hear his name mentioned a lot back in the 80's and 90's; the dude is/was a very well known Texas Democrat, "political activist", writer, "super-delegate" to the DNC National Convention, and funnier than hell! The name of his book alone says it all:
"There's Nothing In The Middle Of The Road But Yellow Stripes And Dead Armadillos"
Here's a short sample of Jim Hightower Humor from the hilarious book;
A rich man died and tried to get into heaven. As you know though, one doesn't just waltz through the pearly gates, no matter who you are. Oh, no......you must present yourself to the Angel standing outside, and that Angel reviews your life while St. Peter listens, then St. Peter renders judgement on whether you get to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
So the Angel looked over this rich man's life, shook his head, and said: "Why, you never did no good for nobody, no way....why are you even standing here?"
"Now wait a minute," the rich man said, "I have given to charity; why, in 1933 I came across a poor widow who needed food and I gave her a nickel".
"So?" the Angel asked.
"Well, then there was the time in 1943 when I saw this beggar man standing on the street and I put a nickel in his cup."
"Maybe so", the Angel said, but that doesn't make up for a lifetime of greed".
"But don't you see" the rich man pleaded, "I have a consistent pattern of philanthropy". "Why, in 1953, filled with the Christmas spirit, I came out of my bank, walked right over to the Salvation Army kettle, and put a nickel in there".
The Angel turned around to St. Peter, threw open his arms, and asked, "What in God's name are we going to do with this man".
St. Peter scowled and said in his thunderous voice" "Give him back his 15 cents and and tell him to go to hell"!
"There's Nothing In The Middle Of The Road But Yellow Stripes And Dead Armadillos"
Here's a short sample of Jim Hightower Humor from the hilarious book;
A rich man died and tried to get into heaven. As you know though, one doesn't just waltz through the pearly gates, no matter who you are. Oh, no......you must present yourself to the Angel standing outside, and that Angel reviews your life while St. Peter listens, then St. Peter renders judgement on whether you get to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
So the Angel looked over this rich man's life, shook his head, and said: "Why, you never did no good for nobody, no way....why are you even standing here?"
"Now wait a minute," the rich man said, "I have given to charity; why, in 1933 I came across a poor widow who needed food and I gave her a nickel".
"So?" the Angel asked.
"Well, then there was the time in 1943 when I saw this beggar man standing on the street and I put a nickel in his cup."
"Maybe so", the Angel said, but that doesn't make up for a lifetime of greed".
"But don't you see" the rich man pleaded, "I have a consistent pattern of philanthropy". "Why, in 1953, filled with the Christmas spirit, I came out of my bank, walked right over to the Salvation Army kettle, and put a nickel in there".
The Angel turned around to St. Peter, threw open his arms, and asked, "What in God's name are we going to do with this man".
St. Peter scowled and said in his thunderous voice" "Give him back his 15 cents and and tell him to go to hell"!
Jan 20, 2016 22:11:00 #
Gitzo wrote:
You won't believe this! I have been reading a hil... (show quote)
Well... that didn't have a happy ending! :thumbup: :lol:
Jan 21, 2016 00:30:54 #
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