A few things to ponder
Jan 17, 2016 18:19:48 #
1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog . . . but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor . . . you probably don't have any sense at all. :-)
4. Seat belts are not as confining . . . as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . . when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark . . to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important . . . because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions . . . you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . . and you will have a permanent job!
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy (or girl) . . . who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins . . . the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong
number at 4 a.m. . . like, it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" . . . when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where . . . 'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . . there's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . . not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . . we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with droopy faded tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!...heaven forbid)
18. Money can't buy happiness . . . but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in a Yugo.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint . . . you're probably dead.
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . and the ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . but it's still a gift.
REMEMBER....
POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS
SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN
AND FOR THE SAME REASON.
2. Money will buy a fine dog . . . but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor . . . you probably don't have any sense at all. :-)
4. Seat belts are not as confining . . . as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . . when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark . . to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important . . . because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions . . . you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . . and you will have a permanent job!
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy (or girl) . . . who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins . . . the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong
number at 4 a.m. . . like, it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" . . . when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where . . . 'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . . there's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . . not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . . we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with droopy faded tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!...heaven forbid)
18. Money can't buy happiness . . . but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in a Yugo.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint . . . you're probably dead.
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . and the ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . but it's still a gift.
REMEMBER....
POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS
SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN
AND FOR THE SAME REASON.
Jan 17, 2016 18:39:03 #
Jan 17, 2016 18:44:04 #
Wayne,
Thank you for posting these aphorisms. I have a comment on #16 as it is particularly applicable in the South! Growing up in Boston, I never could have imagined buckets so disgustingly humongous until I moved to Louisiana, where evidently the state motto must read: What's a calorie?
Thank you for posting these aphorisms. I have a comment on #16 as it is particularly applicable in the South! Growing up in Boston, I never could have imagined buckets so disgustingly humongous until I moved to Louisiana, where evidently the state motto must read: What's a calorie?
Jan 17, 2016 18:47:32 #
Jan 17, 2016 18:48:15 #
Jan 17, 2016 18:57:40 #
WayneT wrote:
I lived in Nashville for 5 years in the 80's. I'm sorry that I'm compelled to disagree with you. Compared to MA, TN's are unequivocally fatter. But in LA, they're not fed any corn. Rather, it's pure lard.I'll go along with that I live in Tennessee. I think they're all corn fed.
"New Orleans Class" trash are the fattest by far! You see, I had the "pleasure" 5 days a week of reviewing X-Ray scanograms (done to guide selection of regions to be scanned by CT,) of their torsos. Are you familiar with the term "Michelin man"?
Jan 17, 2016 19:10:17 #
I have to agree with you, Nashville is a slim city compared to some of the surrounding country area where I live.
Jan 18, 2016 06:00:37 #
melismus
Loc: Chesapeake Bay Country
Of course-- it was one of the corn-fed-erate states. ;)
WayneT wrote:
I'll go along with that I live in Tennessee. I think they're all corn fed.
Jan 18, 2016 06:58:44 #
Jan 18, 2016 07:21:47 #
Jan 18, 2016 07:24:33 #
Jan 18, 2016 10:43:36 #
Jan 18, 2016 12:28:43 #
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