A new bank sign.
Aug 25, 2015 19:44:22 #
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16.. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO THE LADIES who can handle it.... A lady sent it to me. She was laughing, too.
'Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16.. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO THE LADIES who can handle it.... A lady sent it to me. She was laughing, too.
Aug 25, 2015 20:22:29 #
Whoa! You are a bad man!!! :XD: :twisted:
After I got done laughing, I sent it to my wife!
Gotta run now!! :D :D
After I got done laughing, I sent it to my wife!
Gotta run now!! :D :D
Aug 25, 2015 20:36:15 #
BassmanBruce wrote:
Whoa! You are a bad man!!! :XD: :twisted:
After I got done laughing, I sent it to my wife!
Gotta run now!! :D :D
After I got done laughing, I sent it to my wife!
Gotta run now!! :D :D
Lotsa luck, I showed it my wife and I'm still running.
Aug 25, 2015 20:56:59 #
My wife thinks that you're stupid. I agreed with her and blew the whole deal when my smirk turned into a grin and then the outright laugh really pissed her off. Not always good to share things.
Aug 25, 2015 21:14:42 #
DaveO wrote:
My wife thinks that you're stupid. I agreed with her and blew the whole deal when my smirk turned into a grin and then the outright laugh really pissed her off. Not always good to share things.
Yes I agree as it is the ins and outs, the ups and downs, the good and the bad, not to mention the ATMs that keep the world going round and my arse running and dodging from my wife. Life is good, well it will be in 20 years when she forgets this little matter.
Aug 26, 2015 05:55:58 #
Aug 26, 2015 06:27:53 #
silver-rail wrote:
sorry after 20 years they may forgive but they never forget
Same goes for 45 years!
Aug 26, 2015 07:31:58 #
Aug 26, 2015 07:51:21 #
Aug 26, 2015 07:52:39 #
Aug 26, 2015 07:54:11 #
Aug 26, 2015 08:05:16 #
rps wrote:
Offensive, sexist, product of a 1952 mindset
You are totally correct, that's in part due to many of us being products of the forties and fifties and we know and remember what you are referring to. We also remember the Archie Bunker improper humor that we laughed and snickered at. We are also laughing at our old selves. :-)
Aug 26, 2015 08:40:14 #
Aug 26, 2015 10:29:49 #
Aug 26, 2015 10:40:56 #
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