Shopping at target.
Jan 4, 2015 16:57:09 #
My wife can be a little demanding at times. For example, she insists that I accompany her when she wants to do some shopping at Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I find shopping to be more than a little boring and I prefer to get in and get the stuff I want and go. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse and look at everything. Well, yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target store.
Dear Mrs............,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the woman's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away". This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here". One of the clerks passed out.
Dear Mrs............,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the woman's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away". This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here". One of the clerks passed out.
Jan 4, 2015 17:03:56 #
another great one. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :XD: :XD:
Jan 4, 2015 17:04:42 #
mullumby wrote:
My wife can be a little demanding at times. For ex... (show quote)
This one is old and worn out. Still, entertaining and funny but old and worn out.
Jan 4, 2015 18:08:35 #
Jan 4, 2015 19:33:32 #
Some of my best flower pictures were taken with my "pocket camera" when I hung out at the floral display in Sam's Club or Costco while waiting for my wife to finish browsing. Keeps me from having a list like this. (My e-reader is my next line of defense.)
Jan 4, 2015 22:03:19 #
Jan 5, 2015 06:47:06 #
I love it! I don't know why shopping malls don't have a "men's lounge" with comfortable chairs, TV, magazines, etc. I can find things to look at in Sears (hardware, new electronics, etc.), but when my wife heads off to Victoria's Secret or any clothing store - I am bored to tears.
Jan 5, 2015 08:05:00 #
Jan 5, 2015 08:07:29 #
Jan 5, 2015 09:50:58 #
Jan 5, 2015 09:52:40 #
PS....thanks for the ideas! My wife makes me step on every tile in a place when I get bribed into going shopping with her. Now I know how to stop the MADNESS!!!
Jan 5, 2015 13:21:23 #
Jan 5, 2015 13:56:09 #
I thought someone posted that we should not shop at Target if we care anything about the second amendment.
I heard Target was trying to move out of the U.S. anyway.
I heard Target was trying to move out of the U.S. anyway.
mullumby wrote:
My wife can be a little demanding at times. For example,
room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here". One of the clerks passed out.
room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here". One of the clerks passed out.
Jan 5, 2015 15:22:05 #
Jan 6, 2015 00:40:47 #
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.