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In the Beginning!
Nov 5, 2014 06:35:06 #
In the beginning
God created heaven and earth, and then he was quickly faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. God was then granted a temporary permit for the project, but was hindered by a Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at the hearing God was asked why he began the earthly project. He replied he just wanted to be creative.
Then God said, Let there be light, and immediately the officials demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about global warming? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, provided that no smoke would come from the ball of fire; and that he would obtain a building permit; and, to conserve energy, he would have to have the light out half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light Day and the darkness Night. The officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.
God said, Let the earth bring forth green herbs and many seeds. The EPA agreed so long as only native seed were used. Then God said Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth. Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Game, co-ordinated with the Heavenly Wild Life Association and the Angelical Society.
Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in six days. The officials said it would take at least 200 days to review the application and impact statement. After that there would be a public hearing. Then there would be another 10 to 12 months before .
At this point God created Hell.
God created heaven and earth, and then he was quickly faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. God was then granted a temporary permit for the project, but was hindered by a Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at the hearing God was asked why he began the earthly project. He replied he just wanted to be creative.
Then God said, Let there be light, and immediately the officials demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about global warming? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, provided that no smoke would come from the ball of fire; and that he would obtain a building permit; and, to conserve energy, he would have to have the light out half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light Day and the darkness Night. The officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.
God said, Let the earth bring forth green herbs and many seeds. The EPA agreed so long as only native seed were used. Then God said Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth. Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Game, co-ordinated with the Heavenly Wild Life Association and the Angelical Society.
Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in six days. The officials said it would take at least 200 days to review the application and impact statement. After that there would be a public hearing. Then there would be another 10 to 12 months before .
At this point God created Hell.
Nov 5, 2014 06:45:33 #
Nov 6, 2014 07:29:52 #
Nov 6, 2014 08:33:46 #
user47602
Loc: ip 304.0.0.33.32
These new facts obviously debunk the "young earth" theory...
coulda waited a couple 100 million years just for the permits to go through.
coulda waited a couple 100 million years just for the permits to go through.
Nov 6, 2014 09:35:52 #
Now what if God had given man the ability to make babies among themselves? Just asking.
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