Joining Facebook after 60
Oct 3, 2014 15:34:31 #
Sent to me by an octogenarian friend. So true. :lol: :lol:
Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)
Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday in case I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."
P.S. I know some of you are not over 60. I sent it toyou to allow you to forward it to those who are. I figured your sense of humor could handle it.
We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)
Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday in case I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."
P.S. I know some of you are not over 60. I sent it toyou to allow you to forward it to those who are. I figured your sense of humor could handle it.
We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
Oct 3, 2014 17:04:47 #
Oct 3, 2014 17:19:40 #
mwalsh wrote:
AaaaHaHa !!
"bi-sacksual!"
I am definitely going to use that!
"bi-sacksual!"
I am definitely going to use that!
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Oct 3, 2014 19:48:36 #
I have to mute my GPS. Can't stand the pre-programmed voice. Sounds like the ex telling me to slow down and where to turn. I'd normally tell her to switch places so I could finish my beer. I can change voices on the GPS but haven't found the Elmer Fudd one. "Ba dee, ba dee, ba dee, ba dee, turn back back back there. "
Oct 3, 2014 19:49:33 #
pounder35 wrote:
I have to mute my GPS. Can't stand the pre-programmed voice. Sounds like the ex telling me to slow down and where to turn. I'd normally tell her to switch places so I could finish my beer. I can change voices on the GPS but haven't found the Elmer Fudd one. "Ba dee, ba dee, ba dee, ba dee, turn back back back there. "
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Oct 4, 2014 08:59:08 #
pounder35 wrote:
I have to mute my GPS. Can't stand the pre-programmed voice. Sounds like the ex telling me to slow down and where to turn. I'd normally tell her to switch places so I could finish my beer. I can change voices on the GPS but haven't found the Elmer Fudd one. "Ba dee, ba dee, ba dee, ba dee, turn back back back there. "
I downloaded an app for my Android Phone that allows you to talk to it like Siri does for IPhones. When I started the app it asked for my name. I said Mike, and it replied that it knows a lot of Mikes. Being the twisted individual that I am, with a twisted sense of humor, I countered with, "Do you F**k all those Mikes?" It responded back with, "I am certainly in agreement with doing that!" Damed technology, I can't even confuse that...
Oct 4, 2014 09:35:36 #
imntrt1 wrote:
I downloaded an app for my Android Phone that allows you to talk to it like Siri does for IPhones. When I started the app it asked for my name. I said Mike, and it replied that it knows a lot of Mikes. Being the twisted individual that I am, with a twisted sense of humor, I countered with, "Do you F**k all those Mikes?" It responded back with, "I am certainly in agreement with doing that!" Damed technology, I can't even confuse that...
Sorry to tell you this but your app is a slut. :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Oct 4, 2014 10:03:12 #
pounder35 wrote:
Sorry to tell you this but your app is a slut. :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Have to agree with you :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Oct 4, 2014 10:35:34 #
Oct 4, 2014 11:19:17 #
TeeKay wrote:
My daughter bought me a smart phone. It's too smart for me!
What I hate/love is the talk to text. Damn phone spells better than I do. I guess that's a good thing. :roll: :lol: :thumbup:
Oct 4, 2014 11:25:26 #
I have a ten year old cell phone and that's all I use. Don't need gps to get around town. If I'm traveling and get slightly lost, great. You get to see a lot of neat things that way.
Oct 4, 2014 11:39:38 #
imntrt1 wrote:
I downloaded an app for my Android Phone that allows you to talk to it like Siri does for IPhones. When I started the app it asked for my name. I said Mike, and it replied that it knows a lot of Mikes. Being the twisted individual that I am, with a twisted sense of humor, I countered with, "Do you F**k all those Mikes?" It responded back with, "I am certainly in agreement with doing that!" Damed technology, I can't even confuse that...
I use the really high tech phone for my era of 83 years.
THE JITTERBUG :thumbup:
Oct 4, 2014 11:41:49 #
TeeKay wrote:
My daughter bought me a smart phone. It's too smart for me!
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Oct 4, 2014 11:42:15 #
Popeye wrote:
I have a ten year old cell phone and that's all I use. Don't need gps to get around town. If I'm traveling and get slightly lost, great. You get to see a lot of neat things that way.
:lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Oct 4, 2014 13:23:56 #
retlaw
Loc: Northern New Jersey
bcheary wrote:
Sent to me by an octogenarian friend. So true. :lol: :lol:
I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."
I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."
LMAO :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
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