Terrymac Loc: LONDON U.K.

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTI ZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ....circumcision may not have been the best way to start..."

ebbote Loc: Hockley, Texas

That is really funny Terry, still laughing.

halman Loc: Foothills of Colorado

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup:

BigBear Loc: Northern CT

That wouldn't have worked so well on me either !!! hehehe

mwalsh Loc: Houston

I am doing a stand up act at my church's talent show in September. Any other jokes about the ministerial vocation would be appreciated! I am already planning to steal material from this forum. Will that be a sin?

Big Stopper Loc: London

Thanks Terry, good one :thumbup:

dljen Loc: Central PA

LOL, funny, thanks for sharing, Terry.

We need more jokes and less politics on this forum. :)

DavidPhares Loc: Chandler, Arizona

Okay . . . A priest and a rabbi are sitting on a plane to Chicago, talking comparative religion.

The priest asks the rabbi, "You mean to tell me you have never eaten pork?"

The rabbi responds, "Well, yes, I must confess back before I became a rabbi, I did have a bar-b-que pulled pork sandwich. "

Then the rabbi asks the priest, "And you have never had sex with a woman, I suppose."

The priest responds, "Actually, long before I entered the priesthood, I did have sex with my girlfriend at the time. "

To which the rabbi responds, "Sure beats the hell outa pork, huh?"

I am not sure you can tell that one at the church party!

Wellhiem Loc: Sunny England.

It's very rarely that I read something and physicaly laugh out loud. I did. Thank you.

Wellhiem Loc: Sunny England.

I have also done stand up. It's not the joke that counts. It's how you deliver it, and you can't steal that from anyone. Go in peace, there is no sin involved.

mwalsh Loc: Houston

I've got pretty good timing, just not much religious material!

DavidPhares Loc: Chandler, Arizona

Okay, okay . . . One more, but not about the clergy:

Two drunks are sitting next to each other on a flight to Detroit.

One drunk turns to the other and says, "I hate Detroit, everyone in Detroit is either a prostitute or a hockey player!"

"Get Bucko," the other drunk responds, "My mother lives in Detroit!"

The first drunk notes that his seat companion out weighs him by no less than 50 lbs, and is 6" taller. He promptly asks, "REALY? What team does she play for?"

Wellhiem Loc: Sunny England.

Google Tim Minchin. Great comedian.

elandel Loc: Milan, Italy

Very good one. Still laughing...

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

That's good advice for anyone you meet. :D