Calsnap Loc: Seattle/Montana/San Diego

Saw this "Dear Abby" on a Yahoo News link and it made me think of this group. Enjoy...


DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for three years and have two beautiful children. Shortly before our first child was born, my in-laws bought a new camera. They bring it along to every visit and constantly take pictures of all of us. Neither my husband nor I likes having our pictures taken. My in-laws have thousands of pictures of all of us already.

The biggest problem is that they don't have a relationship with their grandchildren because of this. They complain that the kids "don't like them." They feel they should therefore visit more often, but in reality, these visits consist of nonstop photo-snapping, and no quality time is spent with either of the children. How do I make this stop without causing problems? -- OUT OF FOCUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR OUT OF FOCUS: A diplomatic approach would be to suggest to your in-laws that they "shoot" only for a limited time when they visit -- no longer than the first 10 minutes. Explain that you realize the kids are growing and changing quickly, and you understand their desire to record all of it, but the children need a deeper kind of interaction with their grandparents in order to form a positive bond with them. Then suggest some ways they can relate to the little ones after the camera is put away.

If they balk, tell them the reason their grandchildren don't seem to like them is that children need face-to-face and eye contact, and the camera has prevented it from happening. If they're smart, they'll listen

dljen Loc: Central PA

I hope nobody in here is like that! :)

DaveO Loc: Northeast CT

Nah! Most of my shots are with my mouth closed and that works out fairly well.

RichardQ Loc: Colorado

I think the "first 10 minutes" is a mistake! I recommend the "last 15 minutes", and no photos before then! That way, any tension caused by the photography is resolved by everybody saying "Goodbye."

DaveO Loc: Northeast CT

When I went to mostly candid shots it has worked out well. Between the candids and sitting on the floor at their level I am pretty much ignored and my three daughters in law love the shots I select and e-mail. On occasion the kids will pose and again,works out well. Whatever works for you!!

amehta Loc: Boston

Amazingly, the advice missed the most important thing, that children (and all of us) need physical contact, and the camera is a barrier to that.

Gene51 Loc: Yonkers, NY, now in LSD (LowerSlowerDelaware)

Give the kids the camera and let them do to the grandparents what the grandparents do to them. They should get the point. If not, you can do what they do at Starbucks with firearms - you must leave your guns outside.

Morning Star Loc: West coast, North of the 49th N.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

I am a grandmother (of 13), and since last Monday a great-grandmother. When I go to visit our sons I always have my camera with me, but the children rarely notice it. While they're playing in the backyard, I'll sit on the sundeck but make sure I don't have the camera in front of my face all the time.
In the house, I will often set the camera up on a shelf or the table, and use the remote cable release.
One of the 6-yr-olds, who loves to sit with me on the couch to read his books together, will often call out to me: "Oma, you take a picture of me?" and then goes high on the swing, or jumps on the trampoline or whatever.

Rickhstudio Loc: San Antonio, TX

My grandkids live 5 hours away and the photos- screensavers, on the walls, on the desk, in wallet and purse, help fill the gaps. My son and daughter in law, her mother, aunts, uncles etc. have a lot of my photos of the kids on their walls and in their wallets and purses. I've caught a lot of special moments that show the kids' character. But, I'm a pro so I don't have to have the camera in front of my face all of the time. Just keep it in the room and if something cute happens snap away. Most of the time the automatic functions work very well. I've also gotten some great pictures with the phone. Also, someone should suggest to the grandparents that Skype is a great way to see and talk to the grandkids while you are away.

bkyser Loc: Fly over country in Indiana

My guess is that the kids are picking up on their parent's dislike of the pictures. Very sad that it is working out this way. My advice would be that if you want the grandparents to take fewer pictures, then send them pictures more often. Also, if the parents cop an attitude about getting their photos taken, of course the kids will hate it. Most kids that I shoot are natural hams, and love to see the back of the camera after each shot.

UP-2-IT Loc: RED STICK, LA

Sounds more like "How to alienate the Grandparents in one easy way.

GrayPlayer Loc: Granby, Ct.

Turn the tables on the Grandparents. Give the kids an inexpensive "point n' shoot!"

Rickhstudio Loc: San Antonio, TX

The one year old might have a problem with that. The three year old will love it.

Zaydewise Loc: Nashville TN

I have two great grandsons and I take photos of them all the time. At their last visit with us they wanted to be photographers too so I got them Fisher Price cameras for $20. The boys are 4 & 2 and they love being with their grandparents and having photos taken. They come up to me right after I shoot so they can see the pictures. The real answer is to love your kids, show you care and give them lots of hugs and kisses and they won't mind grandpop taking photos.

RAK Loc: Concord Ca

I would bet that 99% of the shots are snaps and they have an addiction. I would suggest intervention.