viscountdriver Loc: East Kent UK

How do you tell the difference between an English Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police officer?

QUESTION: You're on patrol duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are, and your Sergeant hates you) walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do ?

ANSWER:

British Police Officer:

Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.

1) Does the man look poor or oppressed ?

2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law ?

3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger ?

4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack ?

5) Am I dressed provocatively ?

6) Could I run away ?

7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand ?

8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings ?

9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society ?

10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me ?

11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me ?

12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself ?

13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home ?


Canadian Police Officer:

BANG !

American Police Officer:

BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !

'Click'...Reload...

BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !


Glasgow Police Officer:


"Haw, Jimmie.. Drop the knife, noo, unless you want it stuck up yer

Spindrift62 Loc: Dorset, England. U.K.

Funny how there is an element of truth in all humour.

Thombar Loc: Hominy, OK

Retired cop that I am I can vouch for that! Well maybe a bit overkill. :lol:

singleviking Loc: Lake Sebu Eco Park, Philippines

Just curious, but what handgun has a 12 round clip that's authorized as a police weapon?

Spindrift62 Loc: Dorset, England. U.K.

Two S&W Model 10's. (Well we are a bit behind you regarding guns)

singleviking Loc: Lake Sebu Eco Park, Philippines

Except there was a pause, and <reload> between the two 12 shot flurries by the American police officer.
Still....the responses by nationality seem to be reasonably accurate.

dljen Loc: Central PA

Unfortunately, true :(

wilpharm Loc: Oklahoma

Possibley fortunate…The American cop may have been the only survivor>>>>>>

Past Pro Loc: Spring Hill, Florida

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Black Bart Loc: Indiana

The moral to this story Don't threaten a cop with a dagger if you are in the USA.

nafplyr Loc: Chicago

On a serious note.
An assailant with a knife can close the distance and stab an officer armed with a holstered handgun from 18 to 20 feet away before they can clear it and get off a shot.
The officer with the best chance here would have been the Brit, if he wasn't shackled by all the political BS.

sinatraman Loc: Vero Beach Florida, Earth,alpha quaudrant

to truly represent the american cop it should be click reload then take big bite of donut held in non shooting hand!

bvm Loc: Glendale, Arizona

Did it happen to you?

wilpharm Loc: Oklahoma

you are assuming the cop had not drawn his gun already..

boberic Loc: Quiet Corner, Connecticut. Ex long Islander

What if the knife was a gun. No cop would say "stop or I'll shoot" He'l just shoot the bastard and then say "you should have stopped" The BS you see ot TV where the cop says to the bad guy with a gun. "Drop The Gun" is not hoe any cop would behave. Becaues by the time he got DROP out of his mouth he could be dead.