My favorite lawyer joke.
Mar 22, 2014 13:09:43 #
NeilL
Loc: British-born Canadian
What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One's a bottom-feeding scumsucker, and the other's a fish.
One's a bottom-feeding scumsucker, and the other's a fish.
Mar 22, 2014 13:16:32 #
Well said. If I might post another similar view.
What do you have when you have a lawyer up to his knees in cement? Not enough cement.
Dennis
What do you have when you have a lawyer up to his knees in cement? Not enough cement.
Dennis
Mar 22, 2014 13:17:27 #
Mar 22, 2014 13:22:22 #
Mar 22, 2014 13:24:25 #
Mar 22, 2014 13:26:54 #
dljen wrote:
Neil and Dennis...both good jokes, thanx for sharing! :P :P
Please thank Neil. I was just following his lead. There are many more if only I could think of them.
Dennis
Mar 23, 2014 07:44:45 #
I told this joke to a Dr. and he loved it as his daughter was a Lawyer, he told it to her.
Daughter: Mom, can a girl get pregnant from having anal sex?
Mother: Certainly, where do you think Lawyers come from!
Daughter: Mom, can a girl get pregnant from having anal sex?
Mother: Certainly, where do you think Lawyers come from!
Mar 23, 2014 08:00:29 #
It's been an extremely cold winter this year. It has been so cold that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets!
Mar 23, 2014 08:28:55 #
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rattle snake? They try to run over both, but people won't stop and back up again for the snake.
Mar 23, 2014 09:00:25 #
A man told his friend he had just driven through a very poor town. It was so poor they were burying 2 people per grave. Said he saw a tombstone inscribed with. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer."
Mar 23, 2014 09:05:07 #
Mar 23, 2014 09:46:46 #
Bartender: Why so glum?
Customer: Just went through a nasty divorce. Lawyers are assholes.
Guy at the end of the bar: I heard that and I'm offended by it.
Customer: Why, you a lawyer?
Guy at the end of the bar: No. I'm an asshole.
Customer: Just went through a nasty divorce. Lawyers are assholes.
Guy at the end of the bar: I heard that and I'm offended by it.
Customer: Why, you a lawyer?
Guy at the end of the bar: No. I'm an asshole.
Mar 23, 2014 09:59:38 #
Mar 23, 2014 11:33:43 #
You know it's cold when you see a Lawyer with his hands in his own pockets!
Mar 23, 2014 11:45:03 #
Three guys in a lifeboat, drifting in the wrong direction from land in sight. They decide they have to swim to shore before they get too far away.
The Catholic Priest says, "I can't swim well enough to make that distance."
The Rabbi says, "I don't think I can outswim the sharks in these waters."
The Lawyer says, "I'll do it and send a rescue boat out", and jumps over the side.
As he swims off, the Rabbi exclaims... "Oh No, the sharks are attacking, ..... but wait, the sharks are lining up beside the Lawyer, and escorting him along????"
To which the Priest responds....
"Ya just gotta love Professional Courtesy!!"
The Catholic Priest says, "I can't swim well enough to make that distance."
The Rabbi says, "I don't think I can outswim the sharks in these waters."
The Lawyer says, "I'll do it and send a rescue boat out", and jumps over the side.
As he swims off, the Rabbi exclaims... "Oh No, the sharks are attacking, ..... but wait, the sharks are lining up beside the Lawyer, and escorting him along????"
To which the Priest responds....
"Ya just gotta love Professional Courtesy!!"
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