Joining a new church --------
Feb 6, 2014 10:47:04 #
Having just moved, my wife and I wanted to join the local church. The priest told us, 'We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.'
We agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the priest ushered us into his office, I was crying and my wife was obviously very depressed. 'You are back so soon...Is there a problem?' the priest inquired.
'We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.' I replied sadly.
The priest asked me what happened?
'Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, Prayer, reading from the Bible....anything to keep our minds off Carnal Thoughts.
One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,' I admitted, shamefacedly.
The priest lowered his head and said sternly, 'You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.'
'We know," I said, hanging my head. "We're not welcome at Home Depot either!"
We agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the priest ushered us into his office, I was crying and my wife was obviously very depressed. 'You are back so soon...Is there a problem?' the priest inquired.
'We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.' I replied sadly.
The priest asked me what happened?
'Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, Prayer, reading from the Bible....anything to keep our minds off Carnal Thoughts.
One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,' I admitted, shamefacedly.
The priest lowered his head and said sternly, 'You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.'
'We know," I said, hanging my head. "We're not welcome at Home Depot either!"
Feb 6, 2014 15:32:11 #
Good one. Thanks for the spit of coffee on my keyboard. At least I missed the monitor.
Sarge69
Sarge69
Feb 6, 2014 16:00:26 #
Feb 7, 2014 08:21:20 #
Do you work for Nabisco or Kraft (the parent company)? I noticed your avatar is Mr. Peanut, I worked in Planters Peanut which is owned by Nabisco.
Feb 7, 2014 09:20:06 #
Brucej67 wrote:
Do you work for Nabisco or Kraft (the parent company)? I noticed your avatar is Mr. Peanut, I worked in Planters Peanut which is owned by Nabisco.
No Bruce, I'm just a fan of Mr. Peanut. I had a Mr Peanut bank when I was a kid. (Oh so many years ago !)
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