Why did the chicken cross the road?
Jan 27, 2014 09:37:14 #
An age old question, answered by the experts.
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing
the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to
cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so
badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it
the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. If you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2013. This
new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing
the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to
cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so
badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it
the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. If you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2013. This
new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Jan 27, 2014 09:46:35 #
Jan 27, 2014 10:05:45 #
Mik Minick wrote:
What's a chicken?
A large bird that's best when it's fried. Not as good as Spotted Owl but a good substitute. :thumbup:
Jan 27, 2014 13:10:15 #
Jan 27, 2014 13:17:25 #
Consider the lowly chicken;
He forgot how to fly and is finger-lickin'.
Consider man, who may well become extinct
Because he forgot how to cross the road and learned how to fly before he thinked.
Ogden Nash
He forgot how to fly and is finger-lickin'.
Consider man, who may well become extinct
Because he forgot how to cross the road and learned how to fly before he thinked.
Ogden Nash
Jan 28, 2014 12:59:05 #
Jan 28, 2014 13:12:27 #
Jan 28, 2014 13:54:42 #
ttlthor wrote:
Loved the Hemingway one. :lol: :thumbup:
Shouldn't in the John Lennon the word "peace" should have been "piece"? Such as a leg, thigh, or breast. :roll: :lol:
Jan 28, 2014 15:08:23 #
"AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?"
Sorry Al you are wrong again.
Sorry Al you are wrong again.
Jan 28, 2014 15:14:26 #
TrainNut wrote:
"AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?"
Sorry Al you are wrong again.
Sorry Al you are wrong again.
Careful there. Al and Jessie might consider your post racist and call for a boycott of your railroad. Until you cough up some $$$$$. Basic extortion, but that would not be a politically correct term. :shock: :lol:
Jan 28, 2014 15:18:38 #
pounder35 wrote:
Careful there. Al and Jessie might consider your post racist and call for a boycott of your railroad. Until you cough up some $$$$$. Basic extortion, but that would not be a politically correct term. :shock: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :thumbup:
Jan 28, 2014 15:25:18 #
Jan 28, 2014 15:27:45 #
Samuraiz wrote:
or
Future roadkill. Get the crock pot ready. :thumbup:
Jan 28, 2014 15:30:55 #
pounder35 wrote:
Future roadkill. Get the crock pot ready. :thumbup:
:thumbup:
Jan 28, 2014 15:32:45 #
pounder35 wrote:
Future roadkill. Get the crock pot ready. :thumbup:
Uhmmm. Chicken taste good. :D :wink: :thumbup:
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