sarge69 Loc: Ft Myers, FL

When I first read this I had a good laugh and thought the guy had really spun-up a cute story. However, the more I think about it the more I believe it could just be accurate.

Vet Hats and Morons

A few days ago my best friend from High School sent me a 'Viet Nam Veteran' hat. I never had one of these before and I was pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend Ronn was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.

Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Walmart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment.

But, enough of my psychological fixes. While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vet Nam Vet?" "No" I replied. "Then why are you wearing that hat?" "Because I couldn't find my one for the War of 1812." I thought it was a snappy retort. "The War of 1812 huh." the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"

God forgive but, I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936" He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?" "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way fun. "Dude! Really!" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission." "Dude!", he was really getting excited about what he was hearing. "That is seriously Awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?" "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly. "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still Top Secret and I shouldn't have said anything." "Oh yeah." he gave me the "don't threaten me look. "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?" With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them would we?" The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.
By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.

After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the "I see you" gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a Homeland Security hat.

Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of hat..

Veterans - do not try this unless you are prepared to look serious and hard.

Sarge69

jadeast Loc: Virginia

Funny, but sad enough to be semi-believable. Good story Sarge, a fine example of the people our education system produces.

tlbuljac Loc: Oklahoma

very similar to the Pet Smart story about "Do you have a dog? that happened to me a few weeks ago

BboH Loc: s of 2/21, Ellicott City, MD

Sarge, after seeing some of the history questions and answers on the Jay Leno show I have no reason to think what your tale is NOT true.

BW326 Loc: Boynton Beach, Florida

Love it! Just love it!

Some time ago I recounted on this forum a remark I had heard from a WWII veteran who was the president of the local "Battle of the Bulge Survivors" group here in Florida. He remarked that, "You'd be surprised how many people call our organization, thinking it's a weight watchers group."

If I can get you a "Battle of the Bulge Survivors" hat, will you wear it to Walmart.

Al FR-153 Loc: Chicago Suburbs

The truth hurts Sarge..... In this case, it is from laughing.

phillsam Loc: De Queen Arkansas

I wear a WWII cap, I have been asked "Who started that war", and other questions. History isn't taught anymore, or students aren't learning.

Shakey Loc: Traveling again to Norway and other places.

Read this and laughed so hard I cried. I belive it, well almost. Thanks for posting, Sarge. :D :D :D :lol:

Georgia Peddler Loc: Brunswick, GA

Isn't it amazing. I sometimes wear a ball cap prominently embroidered with the AOPA (Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association) logo and on the front a Cessna 210 with my N numbers prominently emblazened. Never fails, and usually at the hardware (Lowes, etc) store or -- as you stated - Walmart, someone inevititably askes "Do you fly a plane"?

No, I'm a NASCAR driver - Here's your sign????

Drigby1 Loc: American Fork, UT

LOL.
They had better bring back the old history books. The new ones or whatever they are doing is not working.
I taught out of the old ones, where a spade was called a spade.

Raider Fan Loc: Lake County, IL.

For 14$ you can get a US Border Patrol hat at Amazon. I use it when I need to was the big rugs at home and I take them to the laundromat. I get a lot of looks and I always find a machine and i usually have the place to myself. Go figure!!

Brian in Whitby Loc: Whitby, Ontario, Canada

The educational system does not educate; it just crams facts into the head.
An education is what you have left after you have forgotten all the facts you learned in school.
It is sad but true that the educational system does little to teach what to do with the facts.

pounder35 Loc: "Southeast of Disorder"

Get the matching jacket and walk through a construction area while pretending to yell orders into your cell phone. A large landscaping project will also work. Life is short. Have fun when you can! :thumbup: