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Dec 21, 2012 06:35:30   #
A Merry Christmas to all you Happy Snappers across the Pond from all of us here in the UK.

John
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Dec 20, 2012 05:55:20   #
I love this Japanese Doctor!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.


CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
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Dec 19, 2012 14:30:30   #
BE Aware !!!


Over the last month I have become a victim of a clever 'Eastern European' scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into Sainsbury’s for a bit of shopping turned out to be quite an experience.


Here's how the scam works:

Two good-looking voluptuous 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start cleaning your windscreen, their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say 'No' and instead ask you for a lift to another supermarket store, in my case, Asda

You agree and they both get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing, until both are completely naked. Then, when you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately, and thrusting herself against you, while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen on October 4th, 9th,10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th and 29th. Then again on November 1st, 4th, 6th, 10th and 13th and twice yesterday.

So please warn all the older men you know to be on the lookout for this scam.

The best times are just before lunch and about 4:30 in the afternoon.

P.S. Aldi have wallets on sale for £1.99 each but Lidl are £1.75 and look better.
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Nov 30, 2012 12:09:25   #
It doesnt it stands proud and yet despite its small physical size still stupidly supports overseas countries and europe which are much larger
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Nov 28, 2012 14:17:54   #
Lol good one
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Nov 28, 2012 14:17:12   #
Lol good one
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Nov 28, 2012 14:08:49   #
Does anyone at your University teach the English Language or do they teach European and American. ??? Think about it whilst i drink my English Tea and eat my tea cakes lol
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Nov 28, 2012 14:05:55   #
Yes thats the place its the only place that does not allow Land Rovers into town only Range Rovers Lol lol
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Nov 28, 2012 13:46:57   #
And our Hedgehogs aint Ugly their small and beautiful. Haha

Think there might be a beautiful hedgehog photography site coming soon. Lol
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Nov 28, 2012 13:44:04   #
Or Harrogate in North Yorkshire where all the visiting Yanks flock to our World famous Betties Tea Rooms
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Nov 28, 2012 12:58:54   #
And for our friends across the Pond an extract from one of you dictionarys

Im british too!!!!


Brit·on (brtn)
n.
1. A native or inhabitant of Great Britain.
2. One of a Celtic people inhabiting ancient Britain at the time of the Roman invasion.
3. A member of a Brittonic-speaking people.
[Middle English Britoun, Celt, Briton, from Anglo-Norman Britun, from Latin Brittons, Britons, of Celtic origin.]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
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