If you understood that everything you stated above is your opinion and is worthless to me, because I have everything I need in Photoshop, Camera Raw, and Bridge;

If you understood that I have been using Photoshop daily since 1992 and I can do everything I need to do there, without a lot of extraneous bells and whistles that have nothing to do with photographs;

If you understood that all that fluff you warble on and on about above has nothing to do with better images, and everything to do with adding steps to your workflow;

If you were capable of understanding that you would likely still not understand why I DON'T NEED LIGHTROOM.

Sophistication is meaningless. Camera Raw has all the editing functions of Lightroom, because Lightroom is Camera Raw.

I have the edit history of my images in Photoshop, and I can walk back and forward to any state. Then, I can use the history brush to make changes to the image from that state. Where is the History brush in Lightroom? I don't need Lightroom for history.

I don't need "export presets," I have Save, Save As, Save A Copy, Save For Web; the choices are overwhelming. And I never use presets. But if want one-click anything, I can make a Photoshop Action to do it. I don't need Lightroom for actions.

I can't imagine why I would need "many" virtual copies, but I have lots of disk space for any copies I need. I usually save three or four in different file types. But if need be, I can make as many snapshots of History States as I need in Photoshop. I don't need Lightroom for any copy, virtual or otherwise.

After all these years, in February 2023, this month, they just now fixed the crummy database? Wonderful. I still don't need a database to find files that are still on the disk just like any other file, and can be found with a simple search using Bridge. When it's been working for a year without problems, get back to me. In the meantime, I don't need Lightroom.

If you understood that I never use presets, you would understand that understanding how Develop & Import presets works would save me no time at all. The ability to do something I don't do is not something I need Lightroom for.

I do, of course, have the "Image Compare Window" in Photoshop, just one more thing that I don't need Lightroom for.

I don't understand "Stacking images for organization and reference." I can't imagine why I would spend even a moment trying to. Just figuring out the jargon would waste lots of my time.

I manage my images or ("digital assets" if you think using esoteric terms is more important than making quality images) just fine, and I can even extract assets from a layer to a separate image if I need to use them again. I don't need a catalog for that. Where are the layers in Lightroom? I don't need Lightroom.

The OS is not my file manager. Bridge is my file manager, where I have Favorites, Collections, and a search feature. If my OS has Collections and Favorites that I can access across folders and disks, I was not aware of that. Bridge does. Where are the actual image files that are cataloged by Lightroom? Are they not on a disk?

If photography to you means only unlimited virtual copies, databases, catalogs, organization and reference, importing and exporting instead of just "Save," or "Save a Copy," bragging rights for using "pro-grade software" (Photoshop is not "Pro Grade??") and coming on to forums like this one constantly asking for help in finding the files that Lightroom's "urban legend" catalog has lost, or how to transfer the catalog and database without losing all the files, etc. (I think there are at least 4 active such posts here right now;) if that is photography to you, don't let me stop you from using all the great features in Lightroom.

I don't need Lightroom. I will never need Lightroom.

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that one. I could say “The thing I like about Lightroom that you don't get in Bridge, is everything on my computer is in Lightroom.”
And isn’t Bridge essentially a file browser? So if I save my edits to a sidecar file in Lightroom couldn’t I just point Bridge at my directory structure where my photos are saved and then I’d have them in Bridge?
One important feature for my that Bridge lacks is the ability to create virtual copies. I can easily create multiple different editing choices and compare them side-by-side without making physical copies.