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Hypnotist at the Senior Citizens' Center
Jan 16, 2019 20:03:37   #
Angel Star Photography Loc: Tacoma, WA
 
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.

"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket, a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see.

"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said Claude.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting: "Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ---- Watch the watch."

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.
The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.
A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.
They were hypnotized. And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!

"SHIT," said Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center and Claude was never invited there again.

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Jan 16, 2019 20:09:48   #
jeep_daddy Loc: Prescott AZ
 
Angel Star Photography wrote:
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.

"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket, a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see.

"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said Claude.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting: "Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ---- Watch the watch."

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.
The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.
A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.
They were hypnotized. And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!

"SHIT," said Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center and Claude was never invited there again.
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens'... (show quote)



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Jan 16, 2019 20:24:57   #
56HotRod Loc: Littleton CO
 
That was a crappy joke.😂😂😂

Reply
 
 
Jan 16, 2019 22:25:06   #
hasslichhog
 
[quote=Angel Star Photography]It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist!




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Jan 17, 2019 05:41:37   #
Bob Smith Loc: Banjarmasin
 
Funny 😂

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Jan 17, 2019 06:22:48   #
jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY
 

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Jan 17, 2019 08:56:34   #
SteveR Loc: Michigan
 
I'm still laughing!!

Reply
 
 
Jan 17, 2019 08:58:08   #
jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana
 

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Jan 17, 2019 09:30:39   #
Ava'sPapa Loc: Cheshire, Ct.
 
This is my same response to the joke before this one ("Thief"). That's the sh__s !

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Jan 17, 2019 12:37:42   #
Earnest Botello Loc: Hockley, Texas
 
Very funny.

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Jan 17, 2019 13:27:17   #
charlienow Loc: Hershey, PA
 

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Jan 17, 2019 22:15:34   #
Merlin1300 Loc: New England, But Now & Forever SoTX
 
LMAO

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Jan 17, 2019 22:36:24   #
repleo Loc: Boston
 
Angel Star Photography wrote:
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.

"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket, a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see.

"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said Claude.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting: "Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ---- Watch the watch."

The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth.
The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.
A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.
They were hypnotized. And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact!

"SHIT," said Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' Center and Claude was never invited there again.
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens'... (show quote)

As they say in Boston - Wicked

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Jan 18, 2019 00:10:58   #
Vince68 Loc: Wappingers Falls, NY
 
Good one.

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Jan 20, 2019 09:37:15   #
Lin41 Loc: Maine, now North port, FL
 
Best one in a long time, from a senior.

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