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Sep 15, 2018 06:55:25   #
peterjoseph
 
Church Ladies With Typewriters




They're
Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water. 'The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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And this one just about sums them all up

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up yours

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Sep 15, 2018 07:06:21   #
Tracy B. Loc: Indiana
 
Lol!!

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Sep 15, 2018 07:07:59   #
cedymock Loc: Irmo, South Carolina
 
Thank you for the LOL this morning !

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Sep 15, 2018 07:16:45   #
bedouin Loc: Big Bend area, Texas
 
These gave me a sustained belly laugh!

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Sep 15, 2018 07:34:12   #
cdayton
 
😁😁😁

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Sep 15, 2018 07:39:52   #
birder585 Loc: Rochester, NY
 
Too funny! I guess those Engish High Scool classes were a waste for those typists!

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Sep 15, 2018 10:35:18   #
DJ Mills Loc: Idaho
 
Marvelous!

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Sep 16, 2018 08:03:57   #
jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana
 

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Sep 16, 2018 10:40:07   #
jaycoffman Loc: San Diego
 
Very good - I liked these enough to keep.

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Sep 16, 2018 11:37:14   #
Menkaure Loc: Michigan
 
Love the Jesus one!!!!

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Sep 16, 2018 14:45:09   #
cameranut Loc: North Carolina
 
LOL. I was waiting to read the one about the pinto bean supper
with various tunes sung afterwards. Love those church ladies.

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Sep 16, 2018 15:48:13   #
AirWalter Loc: Tipp City, Ohio
 
Oh, those are too funny! My stomach is hurting from laughing so hard. I have to send these to everyone I know! If They don't see the humor in these I have one thing to say - - - "up Yours"!!!

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Sep 16, 2018 16:23:23   #
Rose42
 
Those are great!

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Sep 16, 2018 17:40:10   #
PAR4DCR Loc: A Sunny Place
 


Don

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Sep 16, 2018 18:59:04   #
DAVE FISHING Loc: Phoenix,Arizona
 

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