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Cool and Funny Sayings..........Graham
Feb 24, 2018 15:14:08   #
Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.
 
Amusing sayings, humorous quotes, funny proverbs, phrases, slogans, smart remarks for any occasion,
witty wisdoms for fun and reflection.

My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.
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It is important to make breaks between individual exercises. I personally stick to breaks of about 3-4 years.
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Sometimes I drink water - just to surprise my liver.
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Hearing voices in your head is normal. Listening to them is quite common. Arguing with them – acceptable. It is only when you lose that argument that you get in real trouble.
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Of course I have a talent. I'm really good in bed. Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go.
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"If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level."
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According to my mirror I am pregnant. The father is Nutella.
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... and out of the chaos, a sentence came to me:

"Laugh and be happy, it could be worse!"

... and so I laughed and was happy and it really became worse.
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If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?
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Organized people are simply too lazy to search for stuff.
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A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. That gives hope to quite a few people.
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My relationship is like an iPad. I don't have an iPad.
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I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.
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If I can still lie on the ground without having to hold myself, I'm not drunk.
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Do people talk about you behind your back? Simply fart.
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They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.
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As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me.
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There are people who are a living proof that total brain failure does not always lead to physical death.
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Finally, the spring is here! I'm so thrilled I wet my plants.
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If you’re having a bad day, remember some adults wear braces.
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When somebody doesn’t get something:
I’m sorry, I have neither the patience, nor the coloring crayons to explain this to you.

Hope your weekend is going well
Cheers and Beers
Graham
098

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Feb 24, 2018 15:48:10   #
Shel Loc: Lecanto FL
 
Great one liners. Thanks

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Feb 25, 2018 07:49:56   #
Graveman Loc: Indiana
 
#1 sounds like a neighbor a couple of houses away. Likes to work in his garage and crank up some awful music from the '80s. Fixed the problem by hooking up a large speaker in the wife's' potting shed, aiming it towards his garage and cranking up my CD of bagpipes. Problem solved. By the way, love your posts.

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Feb 25, 2018 09:37:22   #
jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana
 

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Feb 25, 2018 10:30:12   #
PRETENDER Loc: Micanopy,Florida
 
Sounds like the story of my life. My young neighbor likes to practice guitar and drum chords with his amp cranked up so knowing how much his generation likes Hank Snow I just have my Echo play his music and a level 10 with my back door open. Seems to work. Cuts his practice sessions way down. I had no idea people people practiced music to get worse.

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Feb 25, 2018 12:39:50   #
Graham Thirkill Loc: Idylic North Yorkshire, England UK.
 
PRETENDER wrote:
Sounds like the story of my life. My young neighbor likes to practice guitar and drum chords with his amp cranked up so knowing how much his generation likes Hank Snow I just have my Echo play his music and a level 10 with my back door open. Seems to work. Cuts his practice sessions way down. I had no idea people people practiced music to get worse.



Iv'e been pracaticing coughing and that's got worse also..............

Cheers and Beers
Graham
098

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Mar 1, 2018 11:25:26   #
Tikva Loc: Waukesha, WI
 
Some more good ones. I enjoyed them. I like this type of humor.

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