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In Honour of Robert Burns Day - Jan. 25
Jan 24, 2023 15:17:15   #
rmalarz Loc: Tempe, Arizona
 
Tae a fart

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,
Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind.

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a'body's gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
it's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae god it disnae reek

But a' the efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets arrond the room
Michty me! a sonic boom

God almighty it fairly reeks
A' hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a' better scurry
Whit the hell, it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me choakin'
One or two are nearly boakin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

It wis him! I shout and glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare
I'm no that welcome any mair

Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free
That sounds jist the joab fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty.

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Jan 24, 2023 15:37:54   #
NMGal Loc: NE NM
 
LOL! I think we’ve all been there!

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Jan 24, 2023 16:55:36   #
tramsey Loc: Texas
 
Typical Robert Burns - Good post - Did you know he also wrote the words to Auld Lang Syne?

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Jan 24, 2023 17:04:49   #
Amator21 Loc: California
 
It should have been heard readout loud (as well!)
Poul.

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Jan 24, 2023 17:33:16   #
therwol Loc: USA
 
rmalarz wrote:
Tae a fart

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,
Lurks in yer bellie efter a feastie,
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind.

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a'body's gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
it's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae god it disnae reek

But a' the efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
Ricochets arrond the room
Michty me! a sonic boom

God almighty it fairly reeks
A' hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a' better scurry
Whit the hell, it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me choakin'
One or two are nearly boakin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

It wis him! I shout and glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare
I'm no that welcome any mair

Where e're ye go let yer wind gang free
That sounds jist the joab fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty.
Tae a fart br br Oh what a sleekit horrible beast... (show quote)


1. His desk. 2. A display at the Robert Burns museum near Ayer.

I've been to his house in Dumfries and where his body is entombed in the church yard. I've been to his birth house near the museum in Ayer. I found an ancient nail on the floor in that old house and took it home. I suppose I'm a thief, but he wasn't using it. Very interesting fellow.


(Download)


(Download)

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Jan 24, 2023 21:32:31   #
TriX Loc: Raleigh, NC
 
Thanks for a great laugh Bob, that’s a side of Robert Burns I didn’t know

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Jan 25, 2023 07:57:43   #
Dannj
 
Ya gotta luv ole Rrrrobie👍

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Jan 25, 2023 08:45:27   #
rmalarz Loc: Tempe, Arizona
 
TriX, though written in the style of Robert Burns, I'm pretty sure it wasn't written by him.
--Bob
TriX wrote:
Thanks for a great laugh Bob, that’s a side of Robert Burns I didn’t know

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Jan 25, 2023 08:51:45   #
cincykid
 
And another thought...



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Jan 25, 2023 09:00:25   #
jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana
 


Always enjoy a good Bobbie Burns poem: this one, “to a Mouse,” “To a Louse,” etc.

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Jan 25, 2023 10:05:32   #
TriX Loc: Raleigh, NC
 
rmalarz wrote:
TriX, though written in the style of Robert Burns, I'm pretty sure it wasn't written by him.
--Bob


I know. The tip off is the use of “sonic boom”. Pretty sure there was not one in his lifetime, hence the smile at the end of my post. Regardless, it is a VERY funny poem - my wife and I chuckled about it for ten minutes - thanks.

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Jan 25, 2023 10:08:20   #
jaymatt Loc: Alexandria, Indiana
 
cincykid wrote:
And another thought...



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Jan 25, 2023 10:20:39   #
yssirk123 Loc: New Jersey
 

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Jan 25, 2023 14:35:36   #
BBurns Loc: South Bay, California
 
Folks ask why my sense of humour is so weird and demented.
I try to explain that it runs in the family!

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Jan 25, 2023 16:54:01   #
TheShoe Loc: Lacey, WA
 
That is not a quote of something written by Robert Burns, it was a parody written by Rabbi Burns.

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