dhank01

Wind chill is -15, so I figured the cows needed a little more feed this morning. I’m cutting the strings opening a new bale, pulling the strings off in a bundle. A cow had a couple of strings wrapped around her foot. When I jerked it to pull it free, she boogered and took off.

Unbeknownst to me, I also had the same strings wrapped around my foot. When she hit the end, it jerked my feet out from underneath me and I went down like 250 pound bag of duck shit. That boogered her even more so she shifts gears.

Now she’s dragging me across the meadow, over frozen piles of cow shit, impacting snow and rocks up my ass. I’m scrambling to get my knife out to cut away. I lost my gloves, glasses, and one Muck shoe. The other shoe, along with my foot, was tied to a freaked out cow.

I got myself cut loose and limped through the snow back toward my lost shoe. In the mean time, A bull decided to be a fearsome bale fighter and attack the bale that’s suspended in the air at perfect bull height…and on spinners. Before I could get there, shout profanities in three languages, and huck my shoe at the bastard, he’d unrolled three quarters of a bale in one huge, ass deep, pile, which he was standing on, snorting and blowing, proud as hell of himself.

I pitched a bunch of it onto the bale bed and scattered the rest as much as I could. On the bright side, I found my shoe, both gloves, my glasses, and my iWatch buzzed and asked me, “It looks like you had a hard fall. Call 911?”

NMGal Loc: NE NM

What a way to start a day! Glad you were not seriously hurt.

stanikon Loc: Deep in the Heart of Texas

Just be thankful the bull didn't decide you were next.

samantha90 Loc: Fort Worth,Texas

I have a thought; you can make a commercial IWatch. I hope you are recovering.

47greyfox Loc: on the edge of the Colorado front range

Proof positive that livestock know that they will eventually be eaten. Even, on a good day, they can’t be trusted.

Longshadow Loc: Audubon, PA, United States

Dang!

Mr palmer Loc: Currently: Colorado, USA, Terra, Sol

Thank you for suffering so the rest of us can have a good laugh. Glad you were able to write your "tale of woe" and not have a serious disfiguring injury.
And you already have the bones down for your memoir later. These are the stories that all humans recognize.

gmontjr2350 Loc: Southern NJ

George

joehel2 Loc: Cherry Hill, NJ

Other than that, did you have a happy thanksgiving. 😊

Damodar Loc: Hiding

Glad to hear that you made it out ok, and a lot to be thankful for.

starlifter Loc: Towson, MD

Glad things worked out for you. Sorry but I couldn't stop laughing after the second paragraph.

pbearperry Loc: Massachusetts

Holy Cow!

StanMac Loc: Tennessee

That story sounds like the script for a Looney Tunes cartoon script with Elmer Fudd as the farmer. 😂😂

Stan

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

You think that's bad? After pouring milk into my bowl of cereal, I realized the milk was sour! Oh, what a way to begin a day!

dhank01

Just to clarify this didn't happen to me. In the process of sending the disclaimer that stating that didn't make the post. Sorry about that.