Some old, Some new, but I think all are funny!!
Jul 2, 2022 13:14:31 #
Comments in Court (supposedly)
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
I enjoyed them - hope you did too!
Mark
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
I enjoyed them - hope you did too!
Mark
Jul 2, 2022 13:19:49 #
Jul 2, 2022 13:23:52 #
Longshadow wrote:
Thanks, Bill!! Sent to me by a former colleague/friend.
Mark
Jul 2, 2022 13:30:02 #
Nobody failed by underestimating the lack of intelligence of the other person.
Jul 2, 2022 13:33:14 #
revhen wrote:
Nobody failed by underestimating the lack of intelligence of the other person.
I think that's true!!
Mark
Jul 2, 2022 13:38:59 #
Ed48
Loc: Superior, Wisconsin
Did any of these people graduate from pre-school? I can't believe anyone could be that stupid, but it is VERY funny reading.
Have a wonderful day and 4th of July, laughing all the way.
Ed48
Have a wonderful day and 4th of July, laughing all the way.
Ed48
Jul 2, 2022 13:48:12 #
Ed48 wrote:
Did any of these people graduate from pre-school? I can't believe anyone could be that stupid, but it is VERY funny reading.
Have a wonderful day and 4th of July, laughing all the way.
Ed48
Have a wonderful day and 4th of July, laughing all the way.
Ed48
Glad you enjoyed it, Ed!
Mark
Jul 2, 2022 14:35:13 #
These are really funny. Have a hard time believing the dumb questions, but love the responses.
Jul 2, 2022 15:20:09 #
NMGal wrote:
These are really funny. Have a hard time believing the dumb questions, but love the responses.
For sure. I don't worry too much about the "truth" factor.
Mark
Jul 2, 2022 18:06:19 #
this is true............. my pal was standing near her husband's hospital bed. She asked him what Nationality was his Dr. "He is Australian" replied husband.
"Oh, he has such an unusual name" says she " Nil Orally"........
"Oh, he has such an unusual name" says she " Nil Orally"........
Jul 2, 2022 20:59:51 #
markngolf wrote:
...Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy...
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy...
I heard a variation of that one many years ago in which the doctor replied:
"Well, I had his brain sitting in a jar on my desk, but I suppose it's possible he might be practicing law somewhere".
Jul 3, 2022 05:46:26 #
markngolf wrote:
Comments in Court (supposedly) br br Q: What is y... (show quote)
I've seen these before, but they always bear repeating.
Typical for attorneys (and most politicians, from the Chief Executive on down).
Loren - in Beautiful Baguio City
Jul 3, 2022 08:18:08 #
My wife was born on December 25. “Geniuses” have asked if her birthday is always on Christmas.
Jul 3, 2022 08:24:08 #
markngolf wrote:
Comments in Court (supposedly) br br Q: What is y... (show quote)
The follow ups can be also funny. I.e., #2 A. What we are talking about? #12 A. The comic slayed me. #15 (Suicide) A. Let me see. This is my ninth reincarnation. Nine. #20 (Marriage Termination) A. I killed her boyfriend. (Or Husband)
And Mr. Dennington died during the observation of the autopsy on the dead man.
Jul 3, 2022 08:32:24 #
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