gmontjr2350 Loc: Southern NJ

People didn't evolve from monkeys, we evolved from the branch that includes bonobos and chimpanzees. Even if we had evolved from monkeys, it would simply mean that we are a branch of the monkey family, not a replacement.

Dannj

I know that’s true of my family😳

finnmap Loc: N Illinois

How do you know when lutefisk goes bad? Does it start to smell good??

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Larry Maxon

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

Stephan G

Some attempts at replies.

1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
---Depends on for whom it is intended. The expiration is for its potency. It actually gets less poisonous with time. One can increase the dosage until it becomes viable.

2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
---Depends on which language is used. In some, it is actually pronounced "Sha'kendt". (Cannot recall which. May be Upper Balkans.) (E.g., "Vrbncic" is pronounced "Whirr-ban-chick' " in Croat.)

3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
---First one out was planned. The original united cell is the older one of the two. This is in terms of identical twins. In paternal twins, it is usually the oldest is the first impregnation. And the following one was usually killed or placed in an iron mask.

4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
---In Roman Latin, there was no written"U". The "you" was written as "V". Sometimes mixed up with the Roman numeral "five". Karlosus Bronus was a comic character in the Roman newspapers who had a friend named Five. 555 95472 or VVVIXVIVVIIII.

5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
--If truth be known, it is the free Carbon in the lungs that are throttling the Oxygen. It takes out two of them each time! (CO2).

7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims"
--- Don't tell that to a dyslexic.

1. At a movie theater, which armrest is yours?
-- It is to promote the arm wrestling during intermissions.

2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
--- Nature always keeps the original models for a while. Helps when the strain gets lost.

4. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
---S/he looked up at high noon.

Vagaries of English Language
- Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?
---Co-opted by the latrine guy.

- Why does Lipstick not do what it says?
Women don't mash it to their lips like they should.

- If money doesn't grow on trees, why do Banks have Branches?
---They gave up on doing Trunks.

- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?
---Humanita-bles.

- How do you get off a non-stop Flight?
---Yell "Geronimo!" after jumping out.

- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?
---It could be that their patients keep dying on them.

Scruples Loc: Brooklyn, New York

I didn’t get the first batch of imponderables.

One I would like to add:

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

macatac

If your nose runs and your feet smell - your built upside down!

Stephan G

Or got up on the wrong side of the bed.