Hell Explained by a Jewish Chemistry Student (Page 2): Jokes are just like music, the oldies are goodies.

PhotogHobbyist Loc: Bradford, PA

Jokes are just like music, the oldies are goodies.

markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ

berchman wrote:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet.
*Bonus Question: *Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives us two possibilities:
*1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
*2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So, which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by my girlfriend Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh God, I'm coming."
The student received an A+ !!!!!!

The following is an actual question given on a Uni... (show quote)

Incredible post!! He could have sat in my classes everyday!!
Thanks,
Mark

sueyeisert Loc: New Jersey

nervous2 Loc: Provo, Utah

How could anyone not want to be a part of this forum? I'll be grinning for the rest of the day.

raymondh Loc: Walker, MI

Dannj

Funny story, old or new...but I don’t get the “Jewish” connection.

Bret Perry

It's a new one to me. Hell of a story!
A chuckle and gives me something to ponder.

"Hell is other people." — Jean-Paul Sarte
I think that's true for hell on Earth.

For my money, you make your own Heaven or Hell in the after-life, if there is one.
Now how does that affect the "equation"?

robertjerl Loc: Corona, California

Dannj wrote:

Funny story, old or new...but I don’t get the “Jewish” connection.

Many people associate Jewish with studious and knowledgeable because their faith puts so much importance into education.
Therefore a lot of famous intellects are Jewish.

Dannj

robertjerl wrote:

Many people associate Jewish with studious and knowledgeable because their faith puts so much importance into education.
Therefore a lot of famous intellects are Jewish.

Ok, thanks. I guess the student could have been from some Asian cultures as well as it pertains to educational pursuits. But it’s a joke and it’s funny and I’m definitely overthinking it😂

David Martin Loc: Cary, NC

robertjerl wrote:

Many people associate Jewish with studious and knowledgeable because their faith puts so much importance into education.
Therefore a lot of famous intellects are Jewish.

A stereotype unrelated to the content or the context of the joke. And, as I think someone else pointed out, Jews do not believe in hell as it is understood by Christianity.

berchman Loc: South Central PA

David Martin wrote:

A stereotype

Although Jews make up only 0.2 percent of the world's
population, they win an astonishing 22 percent of Nobel Prizes. In fact, six have won so far this year.
This year's crop of Jewish winners includes:
- All three scientists who won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry: Arieh Warshel, Michael Levitt and Martin Karplus
- Francois Englert who was half of the team that won the Nobel Prize in Physics
- James E. Rothman and Randy W. Schekman who were two of the three scientists awarded the Nobel prize in Medicine

https://www.tribeuk.com/sites/default/files/tribe%20Spark5%20reasons%20Jews%20win%20so%20many%20Nobel%20prizes%20(2).pdf

robertjerl Loc: Corona, California

David Martin wrote:

A stereotype unrelated to the content or the context of the joke. And, as I think someone else pointed out, Jews do not believe in hell as it is understood by Christianity.

A Jewish guy I knew did believe in hell. He said it was when his mother-in-law convinced his wife that they needed to work on "improving him".

flathead27ford Loc: Colorado, North of Greeley

Very good!

loperR Loc: Medina ,Ohio

berchman wrote:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet.
*Bonus Question: *Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives us two possibilities:
*1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
*2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So, which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by my girlfriend Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh God, I'm coming."
The student received an A+ !!!!!!

The following is an actual question given on a Uni... (show quote)