If you've been married or in a relationship long enough...
Aug 2, 2020 09:20:42 #
...some of these may be familiar.
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Overheard my wife telling old friends from high school that we’ve been married for 18 years and when they asked, “What’s your secret?” my wife said “Low standards.”
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(during sex)
Me: Hurt me…
Wife: I call my dad when you leave the house to ask him how to fix your renovation mistakes.
Me: Wait…
Wife: I secretly hired a landscaping company to take care of the grass because your lawn care skills are severely lacking.
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My husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts so now I have to file for divorce. We had a good run.
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80% of marriage is repeating yourself.
I SAID 80% OF MARRIAGE IS REPEATING YOURSELF.
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My wife, leaving for Pilates every Thursday morning for the last two years: “I’m leaving.”
Me: “Where’re you going?”
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Wife: I think we need to talk about…
Me: I don’t like where this is heading.
Wife: Where do you think it’s heading?
Me: A conversation.
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Wife: I need another beer.
Me: Another one?
Wife: Yeah. I’ve had an awful day.
Me: What? You were with me all day.
Wife:
Me:
Wife:
Me: You want it in a chilled glass or…
____________________________________________________________________________
Overheard my wife telling old friends from high school that we’ve been married for 18 years and when they asked, “What’s your secret?” my wife said “Low standards.”
____________________________________________________________________________
(during sex)
Me: Hurt me…
Wife: I call my dad when you leave the house to ask him how to fix your renovation mistakes.
Me: Wait…
Wife: I secretly hired a landscaping company to take care of the grass because your lawn care skills are severely lacking.
____________________________________________________________________________
My husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts so now I have to file for divorce. We had a good run.
____________________________________________________________________________
80% of marriage is repeating yourself.
I SAID 80% OF MARRIAGE IS REPEATING YOURSELF.
____________________________________________________________________________
My wife, leaving for Pilates every Thursday morning for the last two years: “I’m leaving.”
Me: “Where’re you going?”
____________________________________________________________________________
Wife: I think we need to talk about…
Me: I don’t like where this is heading.
Wife: Where do you think it’s heading?
Me: A conversation.
____________________________________________________________________________
Wife: I need another beer.
Me: Another one?
Wife: Yeah. I’ve had an awful day.
Me: What? You were with me all day.
Wife:
Me:
Wife:
Me: You want it in a chilled glass or…
Aug 2, 2020 09:22:43 #
Aug 2, 2020 09:54:31 #
Sidwalkastronomy
Loc: New Jersey Shore
funny my old wedding anniversary today. been divorced since 1983
Aug 2, 2020 18:36:21 #
been together for 69 years............some of these are true.
Aug 2, 2020 19:51:42 #
Aug 2, 2020 19:56:01 #
Sidwalkastronomy wrote:
your both in your 90s
not quite..........
Aug 2, 2020 20:41:15 #
Aug 3, 2020 07:45:25 #
Canonuser
Loc: UK and South Africa
A friend of mine greets every man he’s not met before with, “Hello, are you married or happy.”
Aug 3, 2020 07:45:35 #
Canonuser
Loc: UK and South Africa
A friend of mine greets every man he’s not met before with, “Hello, are you married or happy.”
Aug 3, 2020 08:58:46 #
Aug 3, 2020 09:21:34 #
olemikey
Loc: 6 mile creek, Spacecoast Florida
philo wrote:
been married so long that i'm glad i have short memory.
Ha ha, I'm with you philo!!!!!!
Aug 3, 2020 11:32:52 #
G. Crook
Loc: Linden, TX
Sidwalkastronomy wrote:
funny my old wedding anniversary today. been divorced since 1983
You’ve got me beat. Divorced since 1985. (Should have been eight years earlier but I’m a glutton for punishment).
Aug 3, 2020 11:41:34 #
I am now 81 years old and have been married for 54 years.
As far as I'm concerned, the honeymoon isn't over yet.
When it's the right person, it's heaven on earth.
As far as I'm concerned, the honeymoon isn't over yet.
When it's the right person, it's heaven on earth.
Aug 3, 2020 11:50:17 #
DonB
Loc: Port Royal , Tn
charles tabb wrote:
I am now 81 years old and have been married for 54 years.
As far as I'm concerned, the honeymoon isn't over yet.
When it's the right person, it's heaven on earth.
As far as I'm concerned, the honeymoon isn't over yet.
When it's the right person, it's heaven on earth.
Amen to that! 50 years this coming Feb!
Aug 3, 2020 12:13:30 #
Good for you Don.
I'm sure that you are enjoying life as much as I am.
Charles
I'm sure that you are enjoying life as much as I am.
Charles
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