Bullying at school.
Try being handed a knife, and told to go cut a switch.
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What has happened in our schools? A second grader... (
Well, bullying is certainly not new...ask the guy that Romney harassed in school...but I digress.
I can tell this story now as the offended party passed away last year. His name was Clyde and he was a bright kid who was built like a pear and talked like a girl. He was harassed every day of his life when he was in school. I met him when we were in seventh grade and he was in constant and undeniable anguish. Picked on by nearly everyone he retreated into his own little world. In our junior year, I fell ill and had to miss a week of school. When I came back there was no Clyde in my classes. I asked a couple of people and was hushed. It seems while I was away he was pushed down some concrete stairs and suffered multiple broken bones including one hip. He would never return to our school. Bullying was a severe problem and at that time there was little precedent for redress. A couple of years later I was seeing this girl (I worked with her brother) who was the same age. She went to a nearby high school and we were telling stories and reviewing each other's yearbooks. I was looking through her book and there was Clyde. I mentioned that I knew him and she told me he was their Senior Class President.
quote=tk What has happened in our schools? A sec... (
Or ask the girl
BamBam bullyed. You always digress.
My daughter was about 7 years old and being bullie... (
You're going to love this. My sister's best friend was a teacher. She told my sister about an incident that happened at the school where she worked. One of the students was acting up in class. When the teacher told the kid to behave himself, the kid flipped her the finger. The principal and the teacher called the parents in to have a heart-to-heart.
The kid's mom shows up at the school & immediately starts denying that her fair haired boy did anything wrong.
As it turns out, the school had recently installed video cameras in the classrooms. This was done more for the teacher's protection than the students since some students had been making false accusations against teachers that had given them bad grades, taking disciplinary action, etc.
The teacher finally gets tired of trying to reason with the mother, sits her down in front of a monitor and there's junior flipping off the teacher.
Without missing a beat, the mother turns to the teacher and says "Well you should teach him not to do that!"
Yeah, absolutely unbelievable.
One of the best things my father taught was "don't let it be your problem. Figure out some way to turn it around so it becomes THEIR problem." This is exactly what I did with the bully. His bullying my daughter now became his problem.
I saw my first practical application of this when my father was dealing with a woman and her kids renting a house he owned out on Long Island.
After a couple of months, she suddenly decided not to pay the rent; we drove out to see what was going on. No lease agreements were signed (this was back in 1960 or so), it was done on a handshake. The lady was a school teacher in the district and the whole situation amazed him.
Her comment to my father was something like this, "If you want the rent, you're going to have to take me to court and have a widow lady and her 3 kids put out on the street."
Dad now had a problem. He thought about it for a minute and put the problem back on the woman's back. He said, "Here's what I'm going to do. You have to be at school teaching every day. One day I will show up here with a moving van, have your stuff moved out of the house and put into storage. I'll move a few things into the house and start living there. And, I'll let you take ME to court and try to have me thrown out of my own home."
The woman moved that weekend.
Kind of out of the box but yes, bullies do need to be taught what it like.
Is it because they are bullied at home and want to give back ?
Are they neglected and searching for attention ?
Seems like 'no spanking' is working the wrong way.
It's because their parents don't care, or they think their kid's "being tough."
Re: discipline. When our 3 now-adult sons were all still in high school at the same time, they could be quite a handful, but never bad. Typical farm-kid stuff. No trouble with the cops or bullying. They had waaaaay too much to do here on the farm to have time to get into trouble. Anyway, all 3 of them are sitting at the kitchen table one day while I am doing other stuff there too. They were discussing the futility and stupidity of "time outs" and one of them sagely said "you know, Mom, time outs would have NEVER worked for us. We NEEDED to be spanked". My only comment to that was "yup". Guess I did ok as a Mom. :>) (yes, there is a dad involved. Didn't have to do much spanking on my part, but when Dad roared, the troops hopped-to). LOL
Put your grandson in a karate, judo, or boxing class as he will need to defend himself all his life. Give him the tools now and it will be much easier for him later.
quote=RixPix quote=tk What has happened in our s... (
I do digress...thank you.
The Belt, it worked on me! It worked for me!
Whatever works. It is what it is!
When I was in school, I was bullied a few times so I told my father. My father said I should fight back even if the bully was sure to win. Great advice because I was very small but strong. After a while, no bully would pick on me. If they won the fight, other kids would say. "Big deal, so you beat up little Joe." If the bully lost it was a humiliation.
I was bullied on the school bus in 7th grade by a group of high school students. One day I said to my self that if anyone bothered me, I was going to hit him. That morning noone bothered me. That evening one of the crowd moved from the back of the bus up beside me and jabbed me with a stick with a nail in it. I said "do that one more tome and see what happens" Hwe did, and I laid into him with a haymaker and broke the bus window with his head. The next day the principal had us all in his office and the upshot was that we all were off the bus for two days. My mother asked me if I was in the right. I said yes and she said that I could stay home for those days. I never had another problem all through high school. In later life I drove a school bus and I decided that there would be no bullying on my bus.
Tk, my son was bullied from 1st thru 6th gr by a boy who's parents were ignorant to the situation. There was actual assault going on and even the other kids jumped on board to bully my son out of fear of being a victim themselves. I am very active in the schools and was appalled at how my school district was pushing this under the rug. After several conversations with educators.and administration, we got nowhere until I learned my rights as a parent. I worked 3 years in NYS family court....if your grandchild is bitten, that is definitely assault.and you call the police and press charges. An appearance ticket will.ne issued and the minor will take part in a Supt. Hearing where some consequence together with counseling will take place. Remember, every child deserves a safe environment to learn in...just maybe not both in the same environment. Good luck.
Tk, my son was bullied from 1st thru 6th gr by a b... (
The school has been warned that if anything similar happens again she will be pressing charges. Two days straight the bully isn't going anywhere near him.
When I was in school, when I got in trouble, what the school did to me was mild compared to what awaited me at home. Consequently, I tried my darndest not to get in trouble.