Lena wants a divorce
Mar 30, 2019 12:11:58 #
aphelps
Loc: Central Ohio
Ole and Lena’s Divorce Settlement
After years of troubled marriage, Ole and Lena agreed to get a divorce. The day for their hearing finally arrived. The Judge listed to both side’s arguments.
The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."
"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to
chip in a few bucks myself."
After years of troubled marriage, Ole and Lena agreed to get a divorce. The day for their hearing finally arrived. The Judge listed to both side’s arguments.
The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."
"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to
chip in a few bucks myself."
Mar 30, 2019 12:40:52 #
Mar 30, 2019 12:45:43 #
here is a different tack to the above:
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking
accident, a Claddaghduff, Ireland man answered his door to find two grim-faced
Constables.
"We're sorry, Mr. O’ Flynn, but we have
some information about your dear wife, Maureen" said one of the officers.
"Tell me! Did you find her?" Michael Patrick
O’Flynn asked.
The constables looked at each other
and one said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great
news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Mr. O’ Flynn said, "Give me the bad news
first."
The constable said, "I'm sorry to tell you,
sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife's body in the bay."
"Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!"
exclaimed O’ Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the
good news?"
The constable continued, "When we
pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking
Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen
lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in
the catch."
Stunned, Mr. O’ Flynn demanded, "Glory
be to God, if that's the good news, then what's the really great news?"
The constable replied, "We're gonna pull her up again
tomorrow
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking
accident, a Claddaghduff, Ireland man answered his door to find two grim-faced
Constables.
"We're sorry, Mr. O’ Flynn, but we have
some information about your dear wife, Maureen" said one of the officers.
"Tell me! Did you find her?" Michael Patrick
O’Flynn asked.
The constables looked at each other
and one said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great
news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Mr. O’ Flynn said, "Give me the bad news
first."
The constable said, "I'm sorry to tell you,
sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife's body in the bay."
"Lord sufferin' Jesus and Holy Mother of God!"
exclaimed O’ Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the
good news?"
The constable continued, "When we
pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking
Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen
lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in
the catch."
Stunned, Mr. O’ Flynn demanded, "Glory
be to God, if that's the good news, then what's the really great news?"
The constable replied, "We're gonna pull her up again
tomorrow
Mar 30, 2019 12:51:59 #
To Oregon Don: Thanks for sending that joke along. One of greatest of oldies. I had forgotten it.
Mar 30, 2019 16:00:04 #
Mar 31, 2019 10:55:30 #
I'm very old and had not heard that one before.
Really funny!!
Thanks,
Mark
Mar 31, 2019 13:32:34 #
Mar 31, 2019 14:16:01 #
Apr 9, 2019 18:48:43 #
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