English Assignment
Sep 21, 2018 16:08:12 #
Doubt its true but its funny.
RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR:
This assignment was actually turned in by two of my
English students:
In-class assignment for Wednesday: Tandem Story. Each
person will pair off with the person sitting next to
them. One of you will then write the first paragraph
of a short story. The partner will read the first
paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story.
The first person will then add a third paragraph, and
so on until both people agree a conclusion has been
reached. The story must be coherent, and each
paragraph relevant to the prior one.
-------------------------------------------
Rebecca and Gary
English 144A
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite
for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much
of Carl, who had once said in happier times, that he
liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was
suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of
the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Team Captain Carl Harris was
leading his patrol squadron into orbit over Skylon 4.
Carl had more important things to think about than the
neuroses of that air-headed asthmatic woman named
Laurie who, after one sweaty night over three months
ago, was still desperately clinging to an illusion of
a relationship she had fabricated in her unbalanced
mind. "Alpha Tango One to Geostation One-Niner-Three",
he said into his subspace communicator. "Polar orbit
established. No sign of resistance..." But before he
could sign off a bluish plasma beam flashed out of
nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo
bay. The jolt from the direct hit threw him out of his
seat and into the cockpit control panel.
He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not
before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically
brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings
for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one
morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored
her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth
-- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree,
with no newspapers to read, no television to distract
her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the
beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's
innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds
to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
Anu'udrian battleship launched the first of its
lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted,
bleeding-heart peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral
Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the U.N. had left
Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
empire who was determined to enslave the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet and
nothing to stop them. They swiftly initiated their
diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in a
submarine off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie
and 15 million other Americans. He slammed his fist on
the conference table. "I KNEW this would happen! I am
exercising my executive privledge to annul that treaty
effective IMMEADIATELY! Ready the nukes, we're gonna
blow those bastards out of the sky!"
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent
of Valium.
A$$hole.
Bitch.
RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR:
This assignment was actually turned in by two of my
English students:
In-class assignment for Wednesday: Tandem Story. Each
person will pair off with the person sitting next to
them. One of you will then write the first paragraph
of a short story. The partner will read the first
paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story.
The first person will then add a third paragraph, and
so on until both people agree a conclusion has been
reached. The story must be coherent, and each
paragraph relevant to the prior one.
-------------------------------------------
Rebecca and Gary
English 144A
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite
for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much
of Carl, who had once said in happier times, that he
liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was
suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of
the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Team Captain Carl Harris was
leading his patrol squadron into orbit over Skylon 4.
Carl had more important things to think about than the
neuroses of that air-headed asthmatic woman named
Laurie who, after one sweaty night over three months
ago, was still desperately clinging to an illusion of
a relationship she had fabricated in her unbalanced
mind. "Alpha Tango One to Geostation One-Niner-Three",
he said into his subspace communicator. "Polar orbit
established. No sign of resistance..." But before he
could sign off a bluish plasma beam flashed out of
nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo
bay. The jolt from the direct hit threw him out of his
seat and into the cockpit control panel.
He hit his head and died almost immediately, but not
before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically
brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings
for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one
morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored
her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth
-- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree,
with no newspapers to read, no television to distract
her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the
beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's
innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds
to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
Anu'udrian battleship launched the first of its
lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted,
bleeding-heart peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral
Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the U.N. had left
Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
empire who was determined to enslave the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying
enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet and
nothing to stop them. They swiftly initiated their
diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in a
submarine off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie
and 15 million other Americans. He slammed his fist on
the conference table. "I KNEW this would happen! I am
exercising my executive privledge to annul that treaty
effective IMMEADIATELY! Ready the nukes, we're gonna
blow those bastards out of the sky!"
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent
of Valium.
A$$hole.
Bitch.
Sep 21, 2018 16:18:03 #
Wonderful stuff. I had a good laugh which made my day. Great writing exercise that ended up with two people at odds with each other. Great stuff.
Sep 21, 2018 16:24:41 #
Like Steve, I had a good laugh with this one, as well.
--Bob
--Bob
Rose42 wrote:
Doubt its true but its funny. br br RECEIVED FRO... (show quote)
Sep 21, 2018 17:34:17 #
over on the Knitting Forum we sometimes have an "add a line: story. they are very funny!
Sep 21, 2018 18:45:34 #
Sep 21, 2018 21:53:02 #
Sep 22, 2018 05:33:01 #
Hal81 wrote:
And a good time was had by all.
Good time? You consider 15 million people vaporized a good time? How could you be so callous?
Laurie
Sep 22, 2018 06:44:10 #
Sep 22, 2018 06:58:05 #
And we wonder why the world is in such a mess. People just can't get along. 
Sep 22, 2018 07:27:01 #
jerryc41 wrote:
And we wonder why the world is in such a mess. People just can't get along.
Some are too quick to respond harshly to their out of content interpretation of others
Sep 22, 2018 08:30:09 #
A little sappy at first, but happy that I stayed around for the great ending. 
This from an old writing teacher.
This from an old writing teacher.
Sep 22, 2018 10:00:08 #
I'm sure they ended up falling in love and living happily ever after.
Sep 22, 2018 10:20:15 #
jcave
Loc: Cecilia, Kentucky
This undoubtedly will be seen in its entirety on the Hallmark Channel sometime soon.
Sep 22, 2018 10:27:58 #
Sep 22, 2018 10:31:36 #
wrangler5
Loc: Missouri
Jesu S wrote:
Good time? You consider 15 million people vaporized a good time? How could you be so callous?
Laurie
Laurie
Are we allowing dead people to post here, now? That'll open up a lot of new possibilities. ;-)
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