jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

I read a few articles lately about friendship. I think we need more words for friends. According to the authors, most people have many casual friends, but not many real, close friends. They describe a close friend as someone we can trust with our secrets, fears, hopes, and ambitions. If we're lonely or feeling down, we call this friend to cheer us up. A casual friend is someone with whom we can discuss the weather and yesterday's game. They concluded that women are better than men at making friends, especially close friends.

Looking at my life, I have lots of friends, but not close friends. People I knew when I was younger either moved away or passed away. I have lots of casual friends, but no one really close. How about you?

genocolo Loc: Vail and Gasparilla Island

Interesting questions which made me think about my life and people I know. I think of them as acquaintances, friends, or close friends. Miles do not separate me from my few close friends. Acquaintances I can take or leave. Life is too short to spend time with people I don’t like.

I will be interested in what others contribute.

newtoyou Loc: Eastport

The Japanese had the best philosophy about friendship. I am, as a lot of us, loosing mine by out living them. Saddens me, but the alternative isn't better. Make the most of your friendships while you can. And thanks for that.

olemikey Loc: 6 mile creek, Spacecoast Florida

My neighbor lady across the street is now in the 100 year old club. She is still (as much as she can be) a very active lady.... still tries to do yardwork, still hangs with her neighbor friends, they go to lunch and dinners together, etc. She said one of the tougher things about living so long and being active is that her lifelong friends have slowly fallen to illness, age and death and that you have to work at making new ones, and doing new things, to keep on going. Some folks are good at friendships, some not so much...it does take work and tolerance!! It may not be quite the same but you have many friends here, I can see that in their responses! I also identify with your sentiment....hey, keep on keepin on, and love and enjoy those you know now, remember those that are gone.

leftj Loc: Texas

I think very few people have close friends that meet the definition in your first paragraph. I do agree that women are probably more prone to have a friend that meets that definition but even then I think it's pretty rare.

2Dragons Loc: The Back of Beyond

4 of us have been friends since meeting in junior high school in 1957. We meet once a month for dinner and the enjoyment of each others company and have shared our ups and downs for 61 years. But, I have one particular friend who sent me a birthday card once that said, "Good friends don't judge or ask a lot of questions. They help you move the body and never speak of it again."

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

Bunko.T Loc: Western Australia.

I agree about miles of separation. One of my best mates lives the other side of Australia but we email most days.
He has worked as a doctor in many remote communities, like Antarctica many times for the season, very remote
Pitcairn island, Norfolk Is, Cocos Is, Saudi Arabia, & outback parts of Aust.
Also done contracts on our border control patrol ship in our north, plus a couple of voyages on our national scientific &
Research ship.
He's a guy who disappears from our life for any length of time, then reappears out of the blue, & carry on just as we were. Almost like carrying on from where we left off. No obligation to communicate.
A true friend. Others are similar, in distant parts of the world but thanks to technology, we can talk about the weather, what you're doing, day to day things.
I think their remoteness is part of their interest. Never harsh words, great fun.

Bunko.T Loc: Western Australia.

Interesting philosophy I heard.
An old guy talking about the pros & cons of longevity.
The down side is that you out live all your friends. But the upside is you out live your enemies too.
At the late stages of your life, you have so much knowledge from experience, but nobody asks you. They all reckon they know it all.

newtoyou Loc: Eastport

Last sentence. All to true. You look experienced, are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced, sorry, flashback. Hey mate, my town , Annapolis has a new Aussie mayor,G'day(night now) to you. Bill

jeep_daddy Loc: Prescott AZ

Many of us are in the same boat as you Jerry. I have examined that same subject and have as many good friends as I can probably count on one hand. That's it. I may be underestimating this since some people may consider themselves good friends but simply don't convey it very well. Many of the friends I've had back in school are dead or have moved on and didn't keep in touch. I have only kept in touch with 2 friends from grade school, and a couple from high school, and then I've made a few work friends over the years, and I have one friend that I met 18 years ago in a restaurant but that's about it. Two of the guys that I joined the Coast Guard with have passed away.

I have a few drone friends that I have coffee and breakfast with twice a week with and then fly drones, but I don't know if I could call them "good" friends. I like them a lot and we all get along great or I wouldn't hang out with them. I also have some photography friends, mostly women and mostly married, but I don't know if I'd call them "good" friends either. I also have some off road buddies from my Jeep club and some of them I've known before I joined the club. I'd call 2 of them good friends. We go camping and wheeling together. I guess you never know how many friends you have until your funeral and even then it's too late for you to see since you are already dead and can't see who attends unless you fake your death and go to the funeral in cognito. LOL

jerryc41 Loc: Catskill Mts of NY

I got a completely different impression at the beginning of the sentence as opposed to the whole thing. It sounded like they were "do-nothing friends.

Angel Star Photography Loc: Tacoma, WA

You beat me to it! I had the same impression until I completed the sentence and, actually, I chuckled as images of zombies milling about flashed through my mind. Then I finished reading the sentence.

Angel Star Photography Loc: Tacoma, WA

Hi, Jerry,

Can you provide links or references to the article? I am interested in what they have to say.

As for me, I grew up a military brat and then later entered the military. My Dad was a radar technician and was relocating almost every nine months. By the time I arrived in Tacoma, WA in the middle of the tenth grade I have lived in twenty-six cities, states, and one foreign country---Japan, the place of my birth. Consequently, I had to learn that there will be friends where ever you go but don't become too attached. Thus, I have very few friends I could actually call good or close friends. I have many casual friends through work and specific interests such as photography, astronomy, mathematics, chess, etc. Of the good and close, I can count three, perhaps. This, of course, does not include my wife who is my deepest and closest friend. Through the course of my life, I have gone through many struggles and trials of character and these moments showed me the meaning of true friends. They are the ones who remain, stand at your side, and are willing to speak up when they feel you have gone off the rails but nonetheless remain with you. They do not fight the battles for you but they also are not condescending when one is humbled. I am thankful for the few that I have and know that there are probably more but I just haven't been good at keeping in touch. I guess, this too, is a consequence of my military brat life. Yet, of the latter, the moment we do connect, things seem to pick up where we left off as though there wasn't a pause. I once read a quote which I can only paraphrase but it was something that struck me to be a part of what makes a good friend. It was essentially stating that a friend is someone who quietly sits with you while you have nothing to say. To this, I think of the moments out on a quiet lake, fishing though catching nothing, and just quietly sitting there away from the busy, noisy life of the city and technology with my brother-in-law.

Many of my friends, too, have passed, my brother-in-law included and, sadly, so many of them were younger than me. In fact, none of them were older than me and I am really not that old. It does bring one's thoughts to bear at times on what will be, when will it be, and what will be made of the time between now and then.

Quinn 4

For most people my age(73) pick up the newspaper and read about someone their knew from the past has die. I had that happen this morning. Had not seen this person in 35 years or more. But when I was reading about this person, my mind had go back to a another time. I finding this is to be more and more. I can't let myself become over come with sadness. I have to get back on the road and move on, because I still have miles to go.