Ugly Hedgehog - Photography Forum
Home Active Topics Newest Pictures Search Login Register
General Chit-Chat (non-photography talk)
More Blondes
Page 1 of 3 next> last>>
Mar 2, 2018 09:30:10   #
olddutch Loc: Beloit, Wisconsin
 
Subject: THE RETURN OF THE BLONDES....THESE ARE GOOD!





Two blondes are filling up at a gas station and the first blonde says to the second, "I bet these awful gas prices are going to go even higher.

The second blonde replies, "Won't affect me, I always put in just $10 worth."
------------------------------------------------------------
One day, Jill's husband came home from the office and found her sobbing convulsively.

"I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."

"Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I bought an extra pair of trousers for that suit."

"Yes, and it's lucky for you that you did," said Jill, drying her eyes. "I used them to patch the hole."
-------------------------------------------------
Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"
-------------------------------------------------
A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her blonde friend from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.

"Buffy," she said, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"

"Ten," said Buffy.

So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover. "Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!"

"Yes," said Buffy. "So did I."
------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush.

The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's tail. Our blonde friend was stuck again.

The neighbour then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence.

Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart.

The neighbour then suggested that she measure the horses for height.

When she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one.
------------------------------------------------------------
Blonde Interview:

The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company.

He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with any person, living or dead, who would that be?"

The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 09:43:17   #
digit-up Loc: Flushing, Michigan
 
I am happy to be cheered-up with some, not-so-politically-correct, blonde jokes. Someone will surely complain!! Oh well!!. Remember when we didn’t all “SHIT-our-pants at humor. Can’t be funny anymore, at some target group, like::::”take my wife, please”. If we worry our butts off as to whether or not the jokes are politically correct or not, There will be almost NO-MORE-LAUGHS. Sad>.

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 09:52:11   #
DaveO Loc: Northeast CT
 

Reply
 
 
Mar 2, 2018 09:57:27   #
ICN3S Loc: Cave Junction, OR
 
I'm a blonde and I love a good blonde joke. I even retell them except mine are about redheads😀

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 09:57:40   #
kpsk_sony
 
Humorlessly-99.9% of all jokes are based on someone dealing with misfortune ... unfortunately!

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 10:02:54   #
DaveO Loc: Northeast CT
 
kpsk_sony wrote:
Humorlessly-99.9% of all jokes are based on someone dealing with misfortune ... unfortunately!


So, being a blonde is unfortunate?

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 10:11:46   #
markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ
 
Please post one from the .1% set. LOL
Mark
kpsk_sony wrote:
Humorlessly-99.9% of all jokes are based on someone dealing with misfortune ... unfortunately!

Reply
 
 
Mar 2, 2018 10:16:06   #
Joe Blow
 
ICN3S wrote:
I'm a blonde and I love a good blonde joke. I even retell them except mine are about redheads😀


What does a redhead say after sex?
"You guys all on the same team?"

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 10:31:32   #
DaveO Loc: Northeast CT
 
markngolf wrote:
Please post one from the .1% set. LOL
Mark


As always, the optimist!

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 10:45:44   #
markngolf Loc: Bridgewater, NJ
 
Thanks Dave! No sense in being a pessimist. It's a dead end.
Mark
DaveO wrote:
As always, the optimist!

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 11:10:05   #
Fotoserj Loc: St calixte Qc Ca
 
There’s not a single blondies joke, there all thue

Reply
 
 
Mar 2, 2018 11:14:24   #
EdU239 Loc: The Northeast
 
The first is about a skewed approach to solving a problem, and most are about taking questions literally and/or ambiguous language. I kind of like the one about always buying $10 worth of gas since there’s an unintended point about economics. They would be as funny (or as unfunny) without specifying gender, ethnicity, etc. Try reading them and substituting middle aged white guy (my demographic group) for blond female. Or do you think middle aged white guys never make mistakes?

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 12:25:01   #
DirtFarmer Loc: Escaped from the NYC area, back to MA
 
Two blondes were broke so they went looking for a job. Jobs were scarce but they finally found the power company was looking for someone to set poles so they applied for the job. The HR guy said there was another pair of guys looking for the same job so he said that he would send them both out and the pair who did the most poles would get the job. So they all went out to work.

At 5pm the two guys came back, having set 8 poles. The blondes were'nt back yet. So he waited. And waited. And waited...

Finally at 10pm the blondes came back, all dirty and bedraggled. They said they had set 2 poles. The HR guy said, "only 2 poles? the other guys got 8 poles set".

The blondes said "yeah, but you should see how much they left sticking out!"

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 16:57:49   #
Tom G Loc: Atlanta, GA
 
kpsk_sony wrote:
Humorlessly-99.9% of all jokes are based on someone dealing with misfortune ... unfortunately!



Your comment is an egregious and gross over-simplification; however, if you tell us more about yourself maybe we can substantiate your claim.

Reply
Mar 2, 2018 16:59:44   #
Tom G Loc: Atlanta, GA
 
EdU239 wrote:
The first is about a skewed approach to solving a problem, and most are about taking questions literally and/or ambiguous language. I kind of like the one about always buying $10 worth of gas since there’s an unintended point about economics. They would be as funny (or as unfunny) without specifying gender, ethnicity, etc. Try reading them and substituting middle aged white guy (my demographic group) for blond female. Or do you think middle aged white guys never make mistakes?


How very profound you are.

Reply
Page 1 of 3 next> last>>
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.
General Chit-Chat (non-photography talk)
UglyHedgehog.com - Forum
Copyright 2011-2024 Ugly Hedgehog, Inc.