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Vanity strikes again!
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Feb 26, 2018 08:13:21   #
sgt hop
 
A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, eye-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"


God replied: "I didn't recognize you."

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Feb 26, 2018 08:17:30   #
wanderingbear
 
Thanks GOOD one started my day.

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Feb 26, 2018 08:20:42   #
cdayton
 
πŸ€™πŸ€™πŸ€™

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Feb 26, 2018 08:26:23   #
Feiertag (a regular here)
 
Good one.

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Feb 26, 2018 08:35:09   #
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Feb 27, 2018 06:44:10   #
tshift (a regular here)
 
sgt hop wrote:
A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, eye-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"








God replied: "I didn't recognize you."
A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was tak... (show quote)


AMEN to that. Funny! Thanks for the early laugh, started my day off right.

Tom

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Feb 27, 2018 07:43:45   #
Ava'sPapa (a regular here)
 
Never heard that one. I just spit up my eggs I was laughing so hard. Thanks.

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Feb 27, 2018 07:59:15   #
JeffL
 
It was the husband’s vacation week with the kids. He went to visit his estranged wife in the hospital. She was recovering from a tubal ligation, and had recently had breast implants, and a tummy tuck. He gets there and she starts hinting at getting back together. If that’s the case, he wonders, why all the cosmetic surgery. Realizing that she really wants him to pay for it all, he asks why she doesn’t apply for an urban renewal grant. She asks for what. β€œFor having the playground rebuilt!” he says as he leaves.

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Feb 27, 2018 08:00:09   #
crafterwantabe (a regular here)
 
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Feb 27, 2018 08:38:17   #
J-SPEIGHT (a regular here)
 
sgt hop wrote:
A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, eye-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"


God replied: "I didn't recognize you."
A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was tak... (show quote)

Lol

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Feb 27, 2018 08:45:11   #
jaymatt (a regular here)
 

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Feb 27, 2018 09:12:49   #
sgt hop
 
thanks to all, glad you got a chuckle out of it....i don't make 'em, just forward them on......

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Feb 27, 2018 12:34:44   #
rocket111
 
πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸ‘™πŸ‘™

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Feb 27, 2018 13:06:44   #
PH CIB
 
Very Funny !!!

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Feb 27, 2018 14:38:37   #
thephotoman
 
That is a good one. I love these type of jokes.

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