A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, eye-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't recognize you."
Thanks GOOD one started my day.
sgt hop wrote:
A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was tak... (
AMEN to that. Funny! Thanks for the early laugh, started my day off right.
Never heard that one. I just spit up my eggs I was laughing so hard. Thanks.
It was the husband’s vacation week with the kids. He went to visit his estranged wife in the hospital. She was recovering from a tubal ligation, and had recently had breast implants, and a tummy tuck. He gets there and she starts hinting at getting back together. If that’s the case, he wonders, why all the cosmetic surgery. Realizing that she really wants him to pay for it all, he asks why she doesn’t apply for an urban renewal grant. She asks for what. “For having the playground rebuilt!” he says as he leaves.
thanks to all, glad you got a chuckle out of it....i don't make 'em, just forward them on......
That is a good one. I love these type of jokes.