Aussie humor
Feb 23, 2018 19:14:08 #
Subject: Wee joke
A very nice, innocent Australian woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex with another woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.
She ends up corresponding with Scotty Greer, who is an average golfer and who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback and he has no experience with women. They meet and she is very happy with him; she feels that they are perfect for each other. Eventually they end up getting married.
On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room is piled in one corner.
"What happened?" she asks.
"I've never been with a woman" he says, "But if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get!"
A very nice, innocent Australian woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex with another woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.
She ends up corresponding with Scotty Greer, who is an average golfer and who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback and he has no experience with women. They meet and she is very happy with him; she feels that they are perfect for each other. Eventually they end up getting married.
On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room is piled in one corner.
"What happened?" she asks.
"I've never been with a woman" he says, "But if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get!"
Feb 23, 2018 21:04:53 #
Feb 24, 2018 08:55:20 #
Feb 24, 2018 09:12:15 #
Feb 24, 2018 14:02:15 #
Feb 24, 2018 17:10:28 #
Feb 24, 2018 19:28:08 #
Only Steve Irwin would be silly enough to TRY and root a kangaroo. Kangaroos and wallabies have a very simple defence, grab the victim with the front hands, rock back on your tail, disembowel with your feet. Better to just stick with sheep like everybody else.
Feb 24, 2018 19:41:33 #
Texcaster wrote:
That is why the Scots Kilts have no zippers. A sheep can hear one 100 ft. away.... Better to just stick with sheep.....
Feb 24, 2018 21:10:45 #
Texcaster wrote:
Only Steve Irwin would be silly enough to TRY and root a kangaroo. Kangaroos and wallabies have a very simple defence, grab the victim with the front hands, rock back on your tail, disembowel with your feet. Better to just stick with sheep like everybody else.
Sheep and goats seem to work for a few billion Muslim men. They've been shagging them for centuries. If you got one of their wives out of the burka you'd know why. The burka goes down to their feet because that's where her armpit hair stops. Ok. Who to insult next. So many choices and so little time.
Feb 24, 2018 21:11:31 #
BBurns wrote:
That is why the Scots Kilts have no zippers. A sheep can hear one 100 ft. away.
Good one!
Feb 24, 2018 22:00:45 #
buckbrush
Loc: Texas then Southwest Oregon
HELP
What, pray tell is an 'average golfer'?
Loved the joke but the phrase confuses me.
What, pray tell is an 'average golfer'?
Loved the joke but the phrase confuses me.
Feb 24, 2018 22:21:29 #
buckbrush wrote:
HELP
What, pray tell is an 'average golfer'?
Loved the joke but the phrase confuses me.
What, pray tell is an 'average golfer'?
Loved the joke but the phrase confuses me.
Golf cart, little red hat, chocolate cake, two scoops of ice cream ... that sort of thing.
Feb 24, 2018 23:27:49 #
buckbrush wrote:
HELP
What, pray tell is an 'average golfer'?
Loved the joke but the phrase confuses me.
What, pray tell is an 'average golfer'?
Loved the joke but the phrase confuses me.
An average golfer is someone who shoots a lot lower than I do. Hmmm..... Does that make me an above average golfer?
Feb 25, 2018 00:45:16 #
Texcaster wrote:
Only Steve Irwin would be silly enough to TRY and root a kangaroo. Kangaroos and wallabies have a very simple defence, grab the victim with the front hands, rock back on your tail, disembowel with your feet. Better to just stick with sheep like everybody else.
Yes BUT all the good looking sheep are taken. Guess I have to have 6 pints then they will start to look good. Problem is I'm blind and I think the bartender is cheating me on the pints!
Feb 25, 2018 07:51:28 #
BBurns wrote:
That is why the Scots Kilts have no zippers. A sheep can hear one 100 ft. away.
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