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Blonde man..........................
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Jun 26, 2015 05:59:07   #
Jackinthebox
 
Well, I guess it just had to come to this sooner or later!


A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the
shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."



------------------------------------

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND."

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

------------------------------------

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

---------------------------------

A blond man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blond replies.

"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.

"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

------------------------------------

An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"





To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

--------------------------------------

A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

------------------------------------

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.

One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

------------------------------------

A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday!


 
Jun 26, 2015 06:05:58   #
dljen (a regular here)
 
Hahaha, good ones, Jack, thanks for sharing!
Jun 26, 2015 06:12:14   #
Bobbee
 
Love the last one.
Jun 26, 2015 06:16:52   #
Jackinthebox
 
dljen wrote:
Hahaha, good ones, Jack, thanks for sharing!


Thanks, actually I was going to dedicate this one to you...like....I am quickly posting this before Donna, forever searching the net........comes across this and lets us men have it........so here it is.

you're welcome
Jun 26, 2015 06:18:05   #
Jackinthebox
 
Bobbee wrote:
Love the last one.


Yes but the grenade is right up there too, no?
Jun 26, 2015 07:08:53   #
DaveO (a regular here)
 
:lol: :lol:
 
Jun 26, 2015 07:22:44   #
CliffC
 
Jackinthebox wrote:
Well, I guess it just had to come to this sooner or later!


A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the
shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

Funny. Never heard blonde jokes about men before. Not as funny as the blonde female jokes.


------------------------------------

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND."

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

------------------------------------

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

---------------------------------

A blond man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blond replies.

"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.

"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

------------------------------------

An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"





To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

--------------------------------------

A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

------------------------------------

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.

One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

------------------------------------

A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday!
Well, I guess it just had to come to this sooner o... (show quote)
Jun 26, 2015 07:24:28   #
CliffC
 
Very funny.
Jun 26, 2015 16:17:08   #
GeorgeH (a regular here)
 
Even though I'm blonde, I enjoyed those jokes!
Jun 27, 2015 10:57:13   #
maverickk41
 
What a way to start the day....enjoyed your post.
Jun 27, 2015 12:15:56   #
John_F (a regular here)
 
Jackinthebox wrote:
Well, I guess it just had to come to this sooner or later!


A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the
shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."



------------------------------------


A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND."

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

------------------------------------

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

---------------------------------

A blond man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blond replies.

"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.

"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

------------------------------------

An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"





To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

--------------------------------------

A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

------------------------------------

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.

One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

------------------------------------

A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."


To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday!
Well, I guess it just had to come to this sooner o... (show quote)


The grenades one was an Ole and Sven joke last year.
 
Jun 27, 2015 12:51:15   #
Jackinthebox
 
John_F wrote:
The grenades one was an Ole and Sven joke last year.


:thumbup: :thumbup:
Ole and Sven, the blond guys, yes?
Jun 27, 2015 17:54:20   #
DickC (a regular here)
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
Jun 28, 2015 13:58:26   #
John_F (a regular here)
 
Jackinthebox wrote:
:thumbup: :thumbup:
Ole and Sven, the blond guys, yes?


What was left of it, I suppose. They belonged to Lena and Hilda.
Jun 28, 2015 14:17:04   #
Swede
 
Jack- Priceless!!!!
Last one is the best- Oh MY :P :P :thumbup:
Swede :lol: :lol:
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