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Embarrassing medical exams.
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Apr 8, 2015 19:48:03   #
bcheary Loc: Jacksonville, FL
 
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol:


*My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed
out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her
underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs and I was
in the wrong one.*

*Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,San Francisco*

*2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'. . . I
instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient. *
*Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes , Seattle , WA*


*3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'*

*Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg*


*4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his medications. 'Which one?'. I asked. 'The patch... The Nurse
told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of
places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I
wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the
instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.*

*Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair , Norfolk , VA*

*5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,I asked, 'How long
have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered .'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'*



*6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?' 'It's
very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to
the taste'. Bob replied. I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a
foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'*
*Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf , Detroit ,*

*7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above
it there was a tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'*



*Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the
patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry... had to mow the lawn.'*
*Submitted by RN no name, AND FINALLY!!


8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB. I was quite
embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams.. To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged
lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said.
'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied with tears running down her
cheeks from laughing so hard . .. .*

*'No doctor but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar
Meyer Wiener.'*

*Baby's First Doctor Visit*

*A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the
doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and
examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked
if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.*

*'Breast-fed,' she replied... 'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor
ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both
breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed
examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder
this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.' I know,' she said, 'I'm
his Grandma, But I'm glad I came

Reply
Apr 8, 2015 20:34:48   #
DaveO Loc: Northeast CT
 
Very good!

Reply
Apr 8, 2015 20:38:48   #
cameranut Loc: North Carolina
 
Thanks for the laughs. I needed that.

Reply
 
 
Apr 8, 2015 21:24:48   #
bcheary Loc: Jacksonville, FL
 
DaveO wrote:
Very good!


Thanks Dave. :-D

Reply
Apr 8, 2015 21:25:06   #
bcheary Loc: Jacksonville, FL
 
cameranut wrote:
Thanks for the laughs. I needed that.


My pleasure. :-D

Reply
Apr 9, 2015 10:08:38   #
richosob Loc: Lambertville, MI
 
Very funny, I bet the doctors and nurses see things that make them almost double over with laughter. This probably helps them deal with the stress. Couple of these made me laugh so hard I almost spilled my coffee. Thanks Brian.

Rich

Reply
Apr 9, 2015 10:17:17   #
bcheary Loc: Jacksonville, FL
 
richosob wrote:
Very funny, I bet the doctors and nurses see things that make them almost double over with laughter. This probably helps them deal with the stress. Couple of these made me laugh so hard I almost spilled my coffee. Thanks Brian.

Rich


:lol: :lol: You are welcome Rich.

Reply
 
 
Apr 9, 2015 14:26:22   #
NeilL Loc: British-born Canadian
 
:shock: :shock: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Reply
Apr 9, 2015 15:28:24   #
chazz4623 Loc: Prairieville, La
 
Oh, how I love photography

Reply
Apr 9, 2015 16:29:28   #
bcheary Loc: Jacksonville, FL
 
NeilL wrote:
:shock: :shock: :thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol:


:lol: :lol: Thanks Neil.

Reply
Apr 9, 2015 16:30:29   #
bcheary Loc: Jacksonville, FL
 
chazz4623 wrote:
Oh, how I love photography


General Chit-Chat (non-photography talk)

Reply
 
 
Apr 9, 2015 19:07:11   #
chazz4623 Loc: Prairieville, La
 
bcheary wrote:
General Chit-Chat (non-photography talk)

I can read. My humor (or attempt) has eluded you.

Reply
Apr 9, 2015 19:26:14   #
bcheary Loc: Jacksonville, FL
 
chazz4623 wrote:
I can read. My humor (or attempt) has eluded you.


My apologies. Every now and then someone gets into the chat room and complains about it not being about photography. :(

Reply
Apr 9, 2015 19:28:17   #
boberic Loc: Quiet Corner, Connecticut. Ex long Islander
 
bcheary wrote:
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol:


*My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed
out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her
underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs and I was
in the wrong one.*

*Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,San Francisco*

*2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'. . . I
instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient. *
*Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes , Seattle , WA*


*3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'*

*Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg*


*4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his medications. 'Which one?'. I asked. 'The patch... The Nurse
told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of
places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I
wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the
instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.*

*Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair , Norfolk , VA*

*5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,I asked, 'How long
have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered .'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'*



*6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?' 'It's
very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to
the taste'. Bob replied. I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a
foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'*
*Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf , Detroit ,*

*7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above
it there was a tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'*



*Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the
patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry... had to mow the lawn.'*
*Submitted by RN no name, AND FINALLY!!


8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB. I was quite
embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams.. To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged
lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said.
'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied with tears running down her
cheeks from laughing so hard . .. .*

*'No doctor but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar
Meyer Wiener.'*

*Baby's First Doctor Visit*

*A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the
doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and
examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked
if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.*

*'Breast-fed,' she replied... 'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor
ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both
breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed
examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder
this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.' I know,' she said, 'I'm
his Grandma, But I'm glad I came
Going the e-mail rounds. :lol: :lol: br br br ... (show quote)


That last one got me, I'm still laughing

Reply
Apr 9, 2015 19:31:35   #
chazz4623 Loc: Prairieville, La
 
bcheary wrote:
My apologies. Every now and then someone gets into the chat room and complains about it not being about photography. :(

Someone tried to troll this space once and I thought it innappropriate (his comments) I thought this was hilarious and was trying to be sort of sarcastic. I will try to make the adjustment. I'm sorry I didnt make myself clear, my apologies.

Reply
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